1 00:00:16,630 --> 00:00:14,470 i never got any money from you 2 00:00:18,630 --> 00:00:16,640 [Music] 3 00:00:24,470 --> 00:00:18,640 ufo might just as well stand for 4 00:00:29,189 --> 00:00:26,710 be normal 5 00:00:31,910 --> 00:00:29,199 this is the saucer life and this is the 6 00:00:34,229 --> 00:00:31,920 saucer life holiday special and every 7 00:00:35,750 --> 00:00:34,239 year we do something a little different 8 00:00:38,069 --> 00:00:35,760 for the saucer live holiday special 9 00:00:41,190 --> 00:00:38,079 whether it's poetry readings or 10 00:00:44,389 --> 00:00:41,200 recitations of the descriptions of 11 00:00:47,430 --> 00:00:44,399 off-color adult-oriented books featuring 12 00:00:49,270 --> 00:00:47,440 krampus or alien santa 13 00:00:52,229 --> 00:00:49,280 clauses 14 00:00:54,630 --> 00:00:52,239 santa's claws i'm not sure what the 15 00:00:57,029 --> 00:00:54,640 plural is for for more than one santa 16 00:00:58,389 --> 00:00:57,039 claus but this year we've got something 17 00:01:00,790 --> 00:00:58,399 that's kind of a call back to some 18 00:01:03,430 --> 00:01:00,800 things we've done in the past 19 00:01:05,590 --> 00:01:03,440 occasionally we've done 20 00:01:08,230 --> 00:01:05,600 dramatizations of things i think part of 21 00:01:10,310 --> 00:01:08,240 this was this was part of 22 00:01:12,630 --> 00:01:10,320 the holiday special last year in our 23 00:01:15,270 --> 00:01:12,640 mitchell sisters episode we had a 24 00:01:18,630 --> 00:01:15,280 dramatization of one of these things 25 00:01:20,230 --> 00:01:18,640 this year we've got a project that we 26 00:01:22,070 --> 00:01:20,240 have been working on it is we it's not 27 00:01:23,830 --> 00:01:22,080 just me it's it's a number of us that 28 00:01:24,710 --> 00:01:23,840 we've been working on in one form or 29 00:01:27,990 --> 00:01:24,720 another 30 00:01:29,990 --> 00:01:28,000 for most of 2021 not because it's that 31 00:01:30,789 --> 00:01:30,000 massive a project but because 32 00:01:31,670 --> 00:01:30,799 it 33 00:01:33,429 --> 00:01:31,680 um 34 00:01:35,350 --> 00:01:33,439 it's just hard to get people together 35 00:01:36,390 --> 00:01:35,360 and to get things done 36 00:01:38,950 --> 00:01:36,400 so 37 00:01:42,469 --> 00:01:38,960 without much further ado i want to 38 00:01:43,350 --> 00:01:42,479 present the children of agalon a full 39 00:01:44,630 --> 00:01:43,360 length 40 00:01:46,389 --> 00:01:44,640 audio 41 00:01:47,350 --> 00:01:46,399 not sure drama is the right word but an 42 00:01:49,510 --> 00:01:47,360 audio 43 00:01:51,190 --> 00:01:49,520 fiction presentation that takes 44 00:01:53,990 --> 00:01:51,200 inspiration from some of the contact e 45 00:01:56,230 --> 00:01:54,000 stories that we've seen here in the past 46 00:01:58,469 --> 00:01:56,240 it's not meant to be serious it's not 47 00:02:00,709 --> 00:01:58,479 meant to be 48 00:02:02,630 --> 00:02:00,719 anything that it's 49 00:02:04,709 --> 00:02:02,640 not it might not be to everybody's 50 00:02:05,429 --> 00:02:04,719 tastes i'm not sure it's to my taste 51 00:02:07,350 --> 00:02:05,439 but 52 00:02:11,589 --> 00:02:07,360 we had a whole heck of a lot of fun 53 00:02:14,309 --> 00:02:11,599 doing it and we hope you enjoy it in the 54 00:02:15,910 --> 00:02:14,319 spirit of whimsy in which it is 55 00:02:17,510 --> 00:02:15,920 presented 56 00:02:20,070 --> 00:02:17,520 so 57 00:02:23,190 --> 00:02:20,080 without further ado but with thanks to 58 00:02:25,030 --> 00:02:23,200 the saucer wife and samantha my co-host 59 00:02:27,350 --> 00:02:25,040 over at great lakes lore and associate 60 00:02:28,949 --> 00:02:27,360 producer simpson j hanover iii 61 00:02:32,610 --> 00:02:28,959 i present 62 00:02:45,210 --> 00:02:32,620 the children of agalon 63 00:02:54,309 --> 00:02:52,229 [Music] 64 00:02:58,070 --> 00:02:54,319 i've got to get out of here 65 00:02:59,350 --> 00:02:58,080 meet roslyn she's a writer a good writer 66 00:03:00,949 --> 00:02:59,360 but she needs more money than the 67 00:03:03,190 --> 00:03:00,959 writing provides 68 00:03:04,949 --> 00:03:03,200 being thoroughly professional her 69 00:03:08,070 --> 00:03:04,959 stance on material editors wanted 70 00:03:10,309 --> 00:03:08,080 changed has led to yet another firing so 71 00:03:22,149 --> 00:03:10,319 it's time to light out for pastures new 72 00:03:26,710 --> 00:03:24,470 the dreamland motor lodge like the rest 73 00:03:27,830 --> 00:03:26,720 of riverbend indiana has seen better 74 00:03:29,670 --> 00:03:27,840 days 75 00:03:31,750 --> 00:03:29,680 named after its location near a bend in 76 00:03:34,550 --> 00:03:31,760 the tippecanoe river riverbend could 77 00:03:36,630 --> 00:03:34,560 have been any one of dozens of towns 78 00:03:38,949 --> 00:03:36,640 nothing special about it nothing special 79 00:03:40,710 --> 00:03:38,959 about the dreamland motor lodge 80 00:03:42,949 --> 00:03:40,720 but there's something special about the 81 00:03:44,830 --> 00:03:42,959 owner owen hazlitt 82 00:03:47,910 --> 00:03:44,840 owen is a regular guy who never left 83 00:03:49,589 --> 00:03:47,920 riverbend nothing special about that but 84 00:03:52,390 --> 00:03:49,599 owen has had an experience that will 85 00:03:53,350 --> 00:03:52,400 change his life and the lives of many 86 00:03:56,309 --> 00:03:53,360 others 87 00:03:58,070 --> 00:03:56,319 all starting now 88 00:04:00,149 --> 00:03:58,080 hello 89 00:04:02,390 --> 00:04:00,159 anyone here 90 00:04:05,030 --> 00:04:02,400 i need a room 91 00:04:08,869 --> 00:04:05,040 like sometime tonight 92 00:04:11,990 --> 00:04:08,879 uh here yes here room yes um phil uh 93 00:04:15,429 --> 00:04:12,000 fill this out uh please i'm i'm owen 94 00:04:18,310 --> 00:04:15,439 owen haslett owner and manager of this 95 00:04:22,310 --> 00:04:18,320 fine establishment 96 00:04:25,670 --> 00:04:22,320 so uh first time in uh riverbend 97 00:04:28,710 --> 00:04:25,680 do you mind i'm trying to fill this out 98 00:04:30,710 --> 00:04:28,720 wait why does this ask for my occupation 99 00:04:33,749 --> 00:04:30,720 what someone puts doctor and you double 100 00:04:34,950 --> 00:04:33,759 the rates no no no no no i i i just like 101 00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:34,960 to uh 102 00:04:37,590 --> 00:04:36,720 know about people so you're you're a 103 00:04:39,350 --> 00:04:37,600 doctor 104 00:04:42,310 --> 00:04:39,360 a writer oh okay 105 00:04:44,950 --> 00:04:42,320 uh anything i i may have read depends do 106 00:04:45,749 --> 00:04:44,960 you read trashy pulp novels 107 00:04:47,749 --> 00:04:45,759 no 108 00:04:50,150 --> 00:04:47,759 newspaper society columns in towns 109 00:04:52,870 --> 00:04:50,160 without any discernible society not for 110 00:04:55,030 --> 00:04:52,880 a while now religious tracks distributed 111 00:04:57,030 --> 00:04:55,040 at truck stops 112 00:05:01,189 --> 00:04:57,040 did you 113 00:05:03,830 --> 00:05:01,199 road to hell nice to see someone 114 00:05:05,830 --> 00:05:03,840 familiar with my work so do i get a room 115 00:05:08,469 --> 00:05:05,840 now that the interrogation's over 116 00:05:11,110 --> 00:05:08,479 sorry sorry okay you're in um cabin 117 00:05:14,070 --> 00:05:11,120 eight here's your key and uh here's a 118 00:05:15,830 --> 00:05:14,080 copy of child of agalon great dynamite 119 00:05:17,189 --> 00:05:15,840 fine thank you be sure to read it be 120 00:05:18,790 --> 00:05:17,199 sure to read it i can answer any 121 00:05:20,469 --> 00:05:18,800 questions you have about it breakfast is 122 00:05:21,749 --> 00:05:20,479 from six to nine and 123 00:05:27,909 --> 00:05:21,759 okay 124 00:05:27,919 --> 00:05:32,710 what the hell is child of agalon 125 00:05:37,029 --> 00:05:34,710 child of agalon 126 00:05:38,950 --> 00:05:37,039 five pages stapled 127 00:05:41,510 --> 00:05:38,960 the cover is made of a slightly thicker 128 00:05:43,189 --> 00:05:41,520 paper than the pages and features a line 129 00:05:46,790 --> 00:05:43,199 drawing of something that looks not 130 00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:46,800 entirely unlike a saucer-shaped object 131 00:05:50,390 --> 00:05:48,400 as i walked through the field behind the 132 00:05:52,710 --> 00:05:50,400 motel one day i had a very strange 133 00:05:54,070 --> 00:05:52,720 feeling it was like a premonition but 134 00:05:55,590 --> 00:05:54,080 maybe not because i'd never had a 135 00:05:56,870 --> 00:05:55,600 premonition before and i wasn't sure 136 00:05:58,309 --> 00:05:56,880 what it might feel like so maybe it 137 00:05:59,590 --> 00:05:58,319 wasn't a premonition and maybe it was 138 00:06:01,350 --> 00:05:59,600 just some kind of feeling that something 139 00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:01,360 was going to happen a lot of it is like 140 00:06:06,550 --> 00:06:03,039 this let's skip ahead 141 00:06:08,629 --> 00:06:06,560 suddenly i heard an unearthly sound 142 00:06:10,629 --> 00:06:08,639 there was a rush of hot air in front of 143 00:06:13,189 --> 00:06:10,639 me there was a cloud of dust when it 144 00:06:16,150 --> 00:06:13,199 settled i saw an amazing sight it was a 145 00:06:18,230 --> 00:06:16,160 flying saucer a door opened and 146 00:06:19,670 --> 00:06:18,240 outstepped the most beautiful woman i'd 147 00:06:22,390 --> 00:06:19,680 ever seen 148 00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:22,400 my name is sally and i come from agalon 149 00:06:28,150 --> 00:06:25,520 what is your name earth man i'm owen 150 00:06:30,950 --> 00:06:28,160 where's agalon far away in what you call 151 00:06:32,790 --> 00:06:30,960 the andromeda galaxy we are looking for 152 00:06:35,510 --> 00:06:32,800 people among the stars who are willing 153 00:06:37,189 --> 00:06:35,520 to receive a message of love and hope 154 00:06:39,990 --> 00:06:37,199 i've read a lot of books about this sort 155 00:06:41,990 --> 00:06:40,000 of thing tell me more listen earth man 156 00:06:45,270 --> 00:06:42,000 owen listen to a message from our 157 00:06:48,070 --> 00:06:45,280 mothership commander alon 158 00:06:50,790 --> 00:06:48,080 attention this is a lot commanding the 159 00:06:52,550 --> 00:06:50,800 agallon mothership orbiting your world 160 00:06:54,629 --> 00:06:52,560 we come in peace 161 00:06:55,990 --> 00:06:54,639 the agalonian fellowship is seeking 162 00:06:57,749 --> 00:06:56,000 people who are looking for new 163 00:06:58,870 --> 00:06:57,759 opportunities to serve their fellow 164 00:07:01,589 --> 00:06:58,880 beings 165 00:07:03,430 --> 00:07:01,599 we have many lessons to share with you 166 00:07:05,909 --> 00:07:03,440 lessons that will lead your planet to a 167 00:07:08,150 --> 00:07:05,919 future that is bright not dark and 168 00:07:10,230 --> 00:07:08,160 peaceful not war-like 169 00:07:12,870 --> 00:07:10,240 listen to our representative sally and 170 00:07:15,589 --> 00:07:12,880 learn from her we hope you'll join us as 171 00:07:16,390 --> 00:07:15,599 part of the agalonia fellowship 172 00:07:17,909 --> 00:07:16,400 wow 173 00:07:19,589 --> 00:07:17,919 i'm willing to learn anything you have 174 00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:19,599 to teach me sally 175 00:07:24,790 --> 00:07:22,160 i am glad to hear this owen of earth the 176 00:07:27,189 --> 00:07:24,800 first lesson is that of universal love 177 00:07:29,029 --> 00:07:27,199 do you know of love owen of earth i had 178 00:07:30,550 --> 00:07:29,039 a girlfriend in high school and we made 179 00:07:32,629 --> 00:07:30,560 out some 180 00:07:34,710 --> 00:07:32,639 what is made out 181 00:07:36,950 --> 00:07:34,720 let me show you 182 00:07:40,070 --> 00:07:36,960 later 183 00:07:42,710 --> 00:07:40,080 by the crystal rivers of agalan city is 184 00:07:44,070 --> 00:07:42,720 this what the earth people call kissing 185 00:07:46,390 --> 00:07:44,080 i have heard about this through the 186 00:07:48,629 --> 00:07:46,400 broadcast we've monitored that was 187 00:07:50,150 --> 00:07:48,639 wonderful i've never loved a woman like 188 00:07:52,070 --> 00:07:50,160 i love you sally 189 00:07:54,469 --> 00:07:52,080 please teach me the wonderful lessons of 190 00:07:57,029 --> 00:07:54,479 agolonian cosmic thought 191 00:07:58,710 --> 00:07:57,039 there are three principles first 192 00:07:59,589 --> 00:07:58,720 universal love 193 00:08:01,270 --> 00:07:59,599 second 194 00:08:02,150 --> 00:08:01,280 universal peace 195 00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:02,160 third 196 00:08:06,710 --> 00:08:04,160 universal understanding 197 00:08:09,589 --> 00:08:06,720 all three principles work together yet 198 00:08:11,749 --> 00:08:09,599 separately i want to learn more 199 00:08:14,550 --> 00:08:11,759 you will we will place the wisdom in 200 00:08:17,189 --> 00:08:14,560 your mind you will be our messenger to 201 00:08:18,869 --> 00:08:17,199 the earth owen you are pure of spirit 202 00:08:20,710 --> 00:08:18,879 here drink this 203 00:08:22,469 --> 00:08:20,720 she placed a small pill into a 204 00:08:24,869 --> 00:08:22,479 shimmering drink in a glass that looked 205 00:08:27,909 --> 00:08:24,879 like it had been carved from diamond it 206 00:08:29,990 --> 00:08:27,919 dissolved i was nervous but i drank it 207 00:08:32,389 --> 00:08:30,000 as i did the air began to shimmer and i 208 00:08:33,589 --> 00:08:32,399 grew sleepy the last thing i heard was 209 00:08:35,509 --> 00:08:33,599 her voice 210 00:08:36,709 --> 00:08:35,519 when you awake you will know what you 211 00:08:38,949 --> 00:08:36,719 have to do 212 00:08:41,269 --> 00:08:38,959 i will return to you my love 213 00:08:42,709 --> 00:08:41,279 i woke up a few hours later and i knew 214 00:08:44,710 --> 00:08:42,719 that i had to share the lessons that the 215 00:08:47,030 --> 00:08:44,720 agolonians taught me that day and 216 00:08:49,190 --> 00:08:47,040 continued to transmit into my mind the 217 00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:49,200 lessons of the agolonians are simple 218 00:08:53,590 --> 00:08:52,000 love peace understanding 219 00:08:55,750 --> 00:08:53,600 if we implement these lessons in our 220 00:08:57,829 --> 00:08:55,760 lives we will be fulfilled if all 221 00:08:59,829 --> 00:08:57,839 humanity does so we will be like the 222 00:09:01,030 --> 00:08:59,839 agolonians and be able to travel among 223 00:09:03,590 --> 00:09:01,040 the stars 224 00:09:05,590 --> 00:09:03,600 join me in becoming more than human i'm 225 00:09:07,750 --> 00:09:05,600 still receiving transmissions from them 226 00:09:09,269 --> 00:09:07,760 and am eager to share what i've learned 227 00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:09,279 please consider staying here at the 228 00:09:13,110 --> 00:09:11,519 dreamland motor lodge and learn with me 229 00:09:15,990 --> 00:09:13,120 in the community we've started to build 230 00:09:19,750 --> 00:09:16,000 here free room and board for sincere 231 00:09:22,389 --> 00:09:21,430 hazlitt get down here 232 00:09:25,750 --> 00:09:22,399 um 233 00:09:27,190 --> 00:09:25,760 yeah yes i'm miss yes my name's roslyn 234 00:09:29,750 --> 00:09:27,200 you should know that from looking at the 235 00:09:31,750 --> 00:09:29,760 registration card so anyways i read your 236 00:09:35,030 --> 00:09:31,760 flyer oh you mean my book 237 00:09:36,790 --> 00:09:35,040 can we compromise and call it a pamphlet 238 00:09:39,350 --> 00:09:36,800 do you have any actual questions about 239 00:09:41,030 --> 00:09:39,360 it just one how do you expect to make 240 00:09:42,790 --> 00:09:41,040 this work if you're offering free 241 00:09:45,269 --> 00:09:42,800 lodging to people dumb enough to come 242 00:09:46,949 --> 00:09:45,279 here okay wait i have two how do you 243 00:09:48,389 --> 00:09:46,959 expect to make this work if you only 244 00:09:51,190 --> 00:09:48,399 give the things to people who are 245 00:09:53,670 --> 00:09:51,200 already here your customer base is what 246 00:09:55,110 --> 00:09:53,680 six people a month it's not about money 247 00:09:57,670 --> 00:09:55,120 it's about 248 00:09:59,910 --> 00:09:57,680 everything is about money and i'm gonna 249 00:10:01,430 --> 00:09:59,920 help you make money with this thing 250 00:10:03,590 --> 00:10:01,440 okay why 251 00:10:06,870 --> 00:10:03,600 you don't seem to believe what i wrote 252 00:10:09,030 --> 00:10:06,880 oh i don't but i need money and looking 253 00:10:11,509 --> 00:10:09,040 around the stump so do you 254 00:10:13,670 --> 00:10:11,519 now i told you the stuff i write 255 00:10:15,190 --> 00:10:13,680 i can write about anything from trashy 256 00:10:17,190 --> 00:10:15,200 novels to cookbooks for the new 257 00:10:19,509 --> 00:10:17,200 housewife i can make this place a 258 00:10:21,670 --> 00:10:19,519 destination for flying saucer nuts look 259 00:10:24,630 --> 00:10:21,680 i'm not even sure who you are i'm 260 00:10:26,790 --> 00:10:24,640 rosalin pay attention so i don't know 261 00:10:28,150 --> 00:10:26,800 much about flying saucer stuff or do we 262 00:10:31,430 --> 00:10:28,160 call them ufos it's an interesting 263 00:10:33,590 --> 00:10:31,440 question who cares so i do know people 264 00:10:35,750 --> 00:10:33,600 dig this stuff i know there's 265 00:10:37,590 --> 00:10:35,760 conferences and books and stuff it's in 266 00:10:39,030 --> 00:10:37,600 the news all the time but the stuff 267 00:10:40,230 --> 00:10:39,040 you're talking about sounds like a 268 00:10:42,150 --> 00:10:40,240 religion 269 00:10:44,069 --> 00:10:42,160 don't diminish it like that you make 270 00:10:46,550 --> 00:10:44,079 about as much sense as my dog whining 271 00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:46,560 back there that this is the truth this 272 00:10:52,150 --> 00:10:49,200 isn't some human belief it's fine it's 273 00:10:54,870 --> 00:10:52,160 the truth so are there any uh believers 274 00:10:57,829 --> 00:10:54,880 here no not yet um i keep hoping someone 275 00:10:58,949 --> 00:10:57,839 will stay after reading the 276 00:11:01,110 --> 00:10:58,959 pamphlet 277 00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:01,120 i i don't suppose you'd like to stay 278 00:11:05,110 --> 00:11:03,440 absolutely not it's just stop 279 00:11:07,110 --> 00:11:05,120 aren't you interested in the teachings 280 00:11:09,829 --> 00:11:07,120 of the agony no 281 00:11:11,430 --> 00:11:09,839 you'll come around no 282 00:11:13,829 --> 00:11:11,440 so do you think you can pull this off 283 00:11:15,509 --> 00:11:13,839 making this popular and everything okay 284 00:11:17,829 --> 00:11:15,519 so some of the stuff i've written the 285 00:11:21,110 --> 00:11:17,839 trashy stuff pulps that's what your 286 00:11:22,949 --> 00:11:21,120 story calls for that kind of approach i 287 00:11:25,990 --> 00:11:22,959 used to write for explosive action 288 00:11:27,670 --> 00:11:26,000 magazine called myself sheamus oh irish 289 00:11:29,829 --> 00:11:27,680 i can turn your story into something 290 00:11:31,430 --> 00:11:29,839 that'll get people here and i've got the 291 00:11:32,470 --> 00:11:31,440 connections to get this in front of 292 00:11:34,710 --> 00:11:32,480 people 293 00:11:36,550 --> 00:11:34,720 oh irish isn't even a real name no one 294 00:11:38,790 --> 00:11:36,560 who reads books like sorority pillow 295 00:11:41,269 --> 00:11:38,800 fight party cares what the author's name 296 00:11:44,150 --> 00:11:41,279 is what i'm saying is that i can make 297 00:11:46,630 --> 00:11:44,160 this something great exciting 298 00:11:49,030 --> 00:11:46,640 look we'll get money for the story i 299 00:11:51,110 --> 00:11:49,040 know a magazine guy will serialize it 300 00:11:53,110 --> 00:11:51,120 then maybe put it out in a book they do 301 00:11:55,350 --> 00:11:53,120 that kind of thing a lot you start 302 00:11:57,110 --> 00:11:55,360 giving talks here at the motel we're 303 00:12:00,389 --> 00:11:57,120 gonna need a name for this whole place 304 00:12:03,350 --> 00:12:00,399 like um agalon meditation center you're 305 00:12:05,190 --> 00:12:03,360 catching on i'll need 60 of whatever we 306 00:12:08,389 --> 00:12:05,200 bring in 307 00:12:10,790 --> 00:12:08,399 that seems like a lot it's uh standard 308 00:12:13,670 --> 00:12:10,800 for flying saucer-related work 309 00:12:16,310 --> 00:12:13,680 oh well if it's standard which it is 310 00:12:18,310 --> 00:12:16,320 then that's fine i guess wonderful time 311 00:12:20,550 --> 00:12:18,320 to get to work gonna have to make some 312 00:12:22,389 --> 00:12:20,560 expensive long distance calls you'll be 313 00:12:23,750 --> 00:12:22,399 paying for that by the way i'm going to 314 00:12:25,990 --> 00:12:23,760 mind beam this development to the 315 00:12:29,590 --> 00:12:26,000 agalonian mothership whatever gets you 316 00:12:34,949 --> 00:12:32,790 gallipoli here talk quickly hey mr 317 00:12:36,470 --> 00:12:34,959 gulipolai it's roslyn 318 00:12:39,910 --> 00:12:36,480 who 319 00:12:41,750 --> 00:12:39,920 sheamus mcirish ah excellent sorority 320 00:12:44,069 --> 00:12:41,760 pillow fight party is still one of our 321 00:12:46,710 --> 00:12:44,079 best sellers need some work 322 00:12:49,829 --> 00:12:46,720 sort of i've got something for you 323 00:12:51,509 --> 00:12:49,839 flying saucers yeah they're russian why 324 00:12:54,069 --> 00:12:51,519 do you know something different 325 00:12:56,790 --> 00:12:54,079 no no i've got a guy who's met a space 326 00:12:58,150 --> 00:12:56,800 woman he's got a story it's dull but i'm 327 00:12:59,829 --> 00:12:58,160 working on that 328 00:13:02,069 --> 00:12:59,839 space woman huh 329 00:13:04,790 --> 00:13:02,079 that could work no one cares about space 330 00:13:07,350 --> 00:13:04,800 men anymore well my readers don't can 331 00:13:09,509 --> 00:13:07,360 you work in a vietnam angle 332 00:13:11,670 --> 00:13:09,519 see it's topical and honestly the true 333 00:13:12,790 --> 00:13:11,680 war stories are big sellers 334 00:13:15,750 --> 00:13:12,800 that 335 00:13:18,150 --> 00:13:15,760 might be possible any other requests 336 00:13:19,190 --> 00:13:18,160 she needs to be a redhead 337 00:13:21,110 --> 00:13:19,200 redhead 338 00:13:23,110 --> 00:13:21,120 our readers have preferences we did a 339 00:13:26,710 --> 00:13:23,120 survey okay 340 00:13:28,550 --> 00:13:26,720 there's a spiritual angle to it too and 341 00:13:31,110 --> 00:13:28,560 and we're going to want to promote the 342 00:13:32,150 --> 00:13:31,120 uh meditation center 343 00:13:34,470 --> 00:13:32,160 the what 344 00:13:36,790 --> 00:13:34,480 meditation center 345 00:13:38,790 --> 00:13:36,800 never took you for a hippie mcgirt just 346 00:13:40,310 --> 00:13:38,800 trying to get by sir 347 00:13:41,430 --> 00:13:40,320 well we've all done things we're not 348 00:13:43,590 --> 00:13:41,440 proud of 349 00:13:45,430 --> 00:13:43,600 i joined a union once 350 00:13:47,509 --> 00:13:45,440 you need to keep that to yourself 351 00:13:49,509 --> 00:13:47,519 obviously 352 00:13:53,670 --> 00:13:49,519 okay send me stuff and we'll probably be 353 00:13:56,230 --> 00:13:53,680 able to run it redhead vietnam got it 354 00:13:58,550 --> 00:13:56,240 and so the die was cast 355 00:14:00,069 --> 00:13:58,560 rosalind and owen must craft his tail 356 00:14:02,790 --> 00:14:00,079 into something that someone would pay 357 00:14:04,870 --> 00:14:02,800 money to read 358 00:14:07,910 --> 00:14:04,880 so hazlitt owen 359 00:14:09,430 --> 00:14:07,920 no i knew when owen once he was useless 360 00:14:12,150 --> 00:14:09,440 you're hazlitt 361 00:14:14,870 --> 00:14:12,160 okay so there are some ground rules 362 00:14:16,550 --> 00:14:14,880 sally needs to be a redhead i don't 363 00:14:18,949 --> 00:14:16,560 really recall her hair color so that's 364 00:14:21,990 --> 00:14:18,959 fine excellent and it needs to take 365 00:14:23,990 --> 00:14:22,000 place in vietnam we need a war angle 366 00:14:26,230 --> 00:14:24,000 doesn't that kind of work against the 367 00:14:27,829 --> 00:14:26,240 whole theme of love and understanding 368 00:14:29,990 --> 00:14:27,839 and peace the agolonians want us to 369 00:14:31,110 --> 00:14:30,000 embrace i have a duty to spread their 370 00:14:34,230 --> 00:14:31,120 message 371 00:14:35,110 --> 00:14:34,240 in a war how would that work yeah 372 00:14:36,870 --> 00:14:35,120 so 373 00:14:38,230 --> 00:14:36,880 how about 374 00:14:41,189 --> 00:14:38,240 st paul 375 00:14:43,509 --> 00:14:41,199 uh minnesota no no no no no 376 00:14:45,590 --> 00:14:43,519 the road to damascus a uh a conversion 377 00:14:48,470 --> 00:14:45,600 experience oh 378 00:14:50,629 --> 00:14:48,480 oh my guess yes that's a good idea 379 00:14:52,949 --> 00:14:50,639 you're a soldier no no no you're a 380 00:14:55,350 --> 00:14:52,959 mercenary these magazines love 381 00:14:57,189 --> 00:14:55,360 mercenaries oh okay if you think it's 382 00:14:59,990 --> 00:14:57,199 best now it seems weird that a flying 383 00:15:02,710 --> 00:15:00,000 saucer would change a mercenary's mind 384 00:15:04,230 --> 00:15:02,720 what about that kiss the kiss yeah you 385 00:15:05,829 --> 00:15:04,240 kissed her right 386 00:15:09,030 --> 00:15:05,839 i i guess i did 387 00:15:11,350 --> 00:15:09,040 so somehow that kiss altered your mind 388 00:15:13,829 --> 00:15:11,360 expanded your consciousness 389 00:15:16,710 --> 00:15:13,839 opened the doors of perception have you 390 00:15:18,870 --> 00:15:16,720 read the doors of perception what aldous 391 00:15:21,990 --> 00:15:18,880 huxley doors of perception about 392 00:15:24,069 --> 00:15:22,000 psychedelic stuff no why because that's 393 00:15:26,710 --> 00:15:24,079 what some of the sounds like you were 394 00:15:28,790 --> 00:15:26,720 massively altered right 395 00:15:31,670 --> 00:15:28,800 true it's it's kind of hard to convey 396 00:15:34,150 --> 00:15:31,680 how different i am now you're a new man 397 00:15:36,949 --> 00:15:34,160 and you're trying in your weird little 398 00:15:38,230 --> 00:15:36,959 way to help others have new lives in 399 00:15:41,030 --> 00:15:38,240 your 400 00:15:43,829 --> 00:15:41,040 real story you were just a guy who runs 401 00:15:46,310 --> 00:15:43,839 a hotel and after your encounter you're 402 00:15:48,389 --> 00:15:46,320 a guy who runs a hotel but now you want 403 00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:48,399 to tell guests about flying saucers 404 00:15:53,030 --> 00:15:50,560 there's nothing to grab people we can 405 00:15:55,749 --> 00:15:53,040 make the kiss the key to the whole thing 406 00:15:57,670 --> 00:15:55,759 oh but what about the drink the drink 407 00:15:59,910 --> 00:15:57,680 yeah the pill and the weird drink that 408 00:16:02,069 --> 00:15:59,920 was a huge part of it actually i think 409 00:16:04,470 --> 00:16:02,079 that's what probably affected my mind 410 00:16:07,189 --> 00:16:04,480 that opened the windows to the universe 411 00:16:09,269 --> 00:16:07,199 that no one cares hazlitt the kiss is 412 00:16:11,350 --> 00:16:09,279 what's going to hook people no one would 413 00:16:13,829 --> 00:16:11,360 care about a drink i'm gonna go write 414 00:16:15,829 --> 00:16:13,839 this up kid we're gonna be 415 00:16:17,670 --> 00:16:15,839 well we're gonna be slightly less poor 416 00:16:20,310 --> 00:16:17,680 than we are now 417 00:16:22,949 --> 00:16:20,320 a reading from my sultry night with 418 00:16:25,990 --> 00:16:22,959 sally the space stunner from agalon 419 00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:26,000 explosive action magazine volume six 420 00:16:30,550 --> 00:16:29,199 number three march 1968. 421 00:16:32,310 --> 00:16:30,560 it was in the steamy jungles of 422 00:16:34,629 --> 00:16:32,320 southeast asia that i had an encounter 423 00:16:36,470 --> 00:16:34,639 with a vixen from beyond the stars 424 00:16:37,990 --> 00:16:36,480 it's not easy being a soldier a fortune 425 00:16:40,230 --> 00:16:38,000 in one of the most dangerous places on 426 00:16:41,749 --> 00:16:40,240 earth but it's what i do i just gotten 427 00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:41,759 done taking care of a little problem 428 00:16:45,829 --> 00:16:43,680 those lily-livered cia boys didn't want 429 00:16:47,829 --> 00:16:45,839 to dirty their hands with there i was 430 00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:47,839 having my 17th cigarette of the morning 431 00:16:54,710 --> 00:16:49,519 leaning up against a blood-stained tree 432 00:16:58,949 --> 00:16:56,870 turning i saw a strange craft it was 433 00:17:00,470 --> 00:16:58,959 circular silver in color i was just 434 00:17:03,110 --> 00:17:00,480 about to shoot it open and interrogate 435 00:17:06,230 --> 00:17:03,120 the owners when the door opened 436 00:17:07,270 --> 00:17:06,240 outstepped a real fox red-headed tall 437 00:17:09,110 --> 00:17:07,280 slim 438 00:17:11,270 --> 00:17:09,120 with a body to kill for 439 00:17:14,309 --> 00:17:11,280 and i've killed a lot 440 00:17:15,429 --> 00:17:14,319 what's your name earth man i'm owen owen 441 00:17:16,870 --> 00:17:15,439 hazlitt 442 00:17:18,549 --> 00:17:16,880 what's your deal don't see a lot of 443 00:17:19,750 --> 00:17:18,559 chicks like you in this jungle full of 444 00:17:22,069 --> 00:17:19,760 commies 445 00:17:23,590 --> 00:17:22,079 my name's sally and i'm from the planet 446 00:17:26,069 --> 00:17:23,600 algalon 447 00:17:28,549 --> 00:17:26,079 i just said that one my name's sally and 448 00:17:31,350 --> 00:17:28,559 i'm from the planet agalon we're looking 449 00:17:34,310 --> 00:17:31,360 for men our planet is dying and we need 450 00:17:36,390 --> 00:17:34,320 men well you've come to the right place 451 00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:36,400 i took her in my arms and kissed her at 452 00:17:41,029 --> 00:17:38,400 that moment my eyes were opened and i 453 00:17:43,510 --> 00:17:41,039 saw the universe in a new way 454 00:17:45,510 --> 00:17:43,520 i can feel things about people owen 455 00:17:47,430 --> 00:17:45,520 and i feel your hands are drenched in 456 00:17:49,750 --> 00:17:47,440 blood someone's got to make the world 457 00:17:50,710 --> 00:17:49,760 safe for democracy check guess i'm the 458 00:17:53,110 --> 00:17:50,720 guy 459 00:17:55,430 --> 00:17:53,120 what if i showed you a better way lay it 460 00:17:57,110 --> 00:17:55,440 on me sister if you've got a safer way 461 00:17:58,390 --> 00:17:57,120 to make this world worth living in i'm 462 00:18:00,470 --> 00:17:58,400 all ears 463 00:18:02,070 --> 00:18:00,480 there are three principles first 464 00:18:04,310 --> 00:18:02,080 universal love 465 00:18:06,950 --> 00:18:04,320 second universal peace 466 00:18:09,110 --> 00:18:06,960 third universal understanding 467 00:18:10,230 --> 00:18:09,120 all three principles work together yet 468 00:18:12,150 --> 00:18:10,240 separately 469 00:18:15,029 --> 00:18:12,160 if you implement these lessons in your 470 00:18:17,830 --> 00:18:15,039 lives you will be fulfilled 471 00:18:20,230 --> 00:18:17,840 you can become like the agalonians and 472 00:18:22,310 --> 00:18:20,240 be able to travel among the stars my 473 00:18:23,990 --> 00:18:22,320 eyes were opened that night with sally i 474 00:18:25,590 --> 00:18:24,000 got out of the jungle warfare business 475 00:18:26,870 --> 00:18:25,600 and went back to the states 476 00:18:28,470 --> 00:18:26,880 settled down in a little place called 477 00:18:30,310 --> 00:18:28,480 river bend indiana 478 00:18:32,150 --> 00:18:30,320 i run the dreamland motor lodge and we 479 00:18:34,950 --> 00:18:32,160 welcome anyone who wants to learn what i 480 00:18:37,029 --> 00:18:34,960 learned from sally it wasn't just a kiss 481 00:18:38,870 --> 00:18:37,039 it was a joining of our spirits 482 00:18:41,350 --> 00:18:38,880 the act of love between man and woman 483 00:18:43,750 --> 00:18:41,360 has cosmic significance come see what i 484 00:18:45,990 --> 00:18:43,760 mean write to me in care of explosive 485 00:18:48,390 --> 00:18:46,000 action and we'll talk 486 00:18:50,390 --> 00:18:48,400 sally's coming back someday and together 487 00:18:53,510 --> 00:18:50,400 we'll all help usher in a new age of 488 00:18:55,350 --> 00:18:53,520 cosmic humanity 489 00:18:57,750 --> 00:18:55,360 listener we've known each other a while 490 00:18:59,270 --> 00:18:57,760 now so i'm going to level with you 491 00:19:01,590 --> 00:18:59,280 neither of the two accounts you've heard 492 00:19:02,549 --> 00:19:01,600 so far of owen's experience are strictly 493 00:19:04,870 --> 00:19:02,559 true 494 00:19:06,789 --> 00:19:04,880 they're not entirely false either but 495 00:19:08,390 --> 00:19:06,799 journalistic integrity compels me to 496 00:19:10,230 --> 00:19:08,400 reveal the truth 497 00:19:12,230 --> 00:19:10,240 let's leave earth behind for a moment 498 00:19:14,630 --> 00:19:12,240 and go far away to the agalonian 499 00:19:17,510 --> 00:19:14,640 mothership where commander elon and 500 00:19:19,110 --> 00:19:17,520 diplomatic relations officer salvariana 501 00:19:21,510 --> 00:19:19,120 are hard at work 502 00:19:26,789 --> 00:19:21,520 listener this is the truth 503 00:19:32,710 --> 00:19:31,350 ship's log space date fran 479 2700 504 00:19:35,549 --> 00:19:32,720 hours 505 00:19:38,390 --> 00:19:35,559 we continue our survey of sector 506 00:19:40,470 --> 00:19:38,400 00342 for planets suitable for the 507 00:19:42,630 --> 00:19:40,480 absorption process 508 00:19:44,470 --> 00:19:42,640 of particular note the ship's chef has 509 00:19:47,110 --> 00:19:44,480 started serving that one cake i like 510 00:19:49,350 --> 00:19:47,120 again so thanks for looking up 511 00:19:51,750 --> 00:19:49,360 the crew are restless and i'm especially 512 00:19:53,669 --> 00:19:51,760 concerned about sub leader salvariana 513 00:19:57,270 --> 00:19:53,679 whose critique of my command style 514 00:19:59,990 --> 00:19:57,280 occasionally borders on insubordination 515 00:20:02,870 --> 00:20:00,000 oh well what can you do i'm going to 516 00:20:04,310 --> 00:20:02,880 take a nap and then eat lunch 517 00:20:08,310 --> 00:20:04,320 the next day 518 00:20:10,870 --> 00:20:08,320 salvariana you got any reports for me 519 00:20:13,270 --> 00:20:10,880 if i did would you read them 520 00:20:15,350 --> 00:20:13,280 look you need to write reports there's 521 00:20:16,789 --> 00:20:15,360 nothing in the regulations that says i 522 00:20:17,669 --> 00:20:16,799 have to read them 523 00:20:19,510 --> 00:20:17,679 so 524 00:20:21,990 --> 00:20:19,520 reports 525 00:20:24,310 --> 00:20:22,000 on your desk in your office that you 526 00:20:25,990 --> 00:20:24,320 haven't been inside for a week 527 00:20:28,149 --> 00:20:26,000 you know that i avoid my office when i 528 00:20:31,270 --> 00:20:28,159 know there's reports on my desk i'm 529 00:20:34,470 --> 00:20:31,280 retiring soon i'm taking things slow 530 00:20:35,909 --> 00:20:34,480 oh i know sir i know we're coming up on 531 00:20:38,230 --> 00:20:35,919 a slightly 532 00:20:40,149 --> 00:20:38,240 promising planet oh 533 00:20:42,950 --> 00:20:40,159 according to radio transmissions we've 534 00:20:45,510 --> 00:20:42,960 picked up they call it earth mass media 535 00:20:46,830 --> 00:20:45,520 saturation seems high at least in 536 00:20:49,909 --> 00:20:46,840 industrialized 537 00:20:51,830 --> 00:20:49,919 areas uh computing networks primitive 538 00:20:55,029 --> 00:20:51,840 and mostly confined to military and 539 00:20:56,710 --> 00:20:55,039 scientific elites well that's a shame 540 00:20:59,350 --> 00:20:56,720 sub leader why don't you explain the 541 00:21:01,190 --> 00:20:59,360 guidelines for absorption to me 542 00:21:03,510 --> 00:21:01,200 don't you know them sir 543 00:21:05,270 --> 00:21:03,520 of course i do but i want to make sure 544 00:21:07,190 --> 00:21:05,280 you do 545 00:21:08,789 --> 00:21:07,200 all right but this seems needlessly 546 00:21:11,430 --> 00:21:08,799 expository 547 00:21:14,230 --> 00:21:11,440 the goal of the absorption process is to 548 00:21:17,110 --> 00:21:14,240 bring a planet's population as well as 549 00:21:19,669 --> 00:21:17,120 its natural resources into the empire 550 00:21:21,270 --> 00:21:19,679 while expending a minimal amount of time 551 00:21:23,830 --> 00:21:21,280 and material 552 00:21:26,070 --> 00:21:23,840 and how do we do that 553 00:21:28,149 --> 00:21:26,080 we locate an individual who has a 554 00:21:29,750 --> 00:21:28,159 significant amount of influence within 555 00:21:30,710 --> 00:21:29,760 one of the dominant cultures of the 556 00:21:32,630 --> 00:21:30,720 planet 557 00:21:34,870 --> 00:21:32,640 we then implant a philosophical 558 00:21:36,390 --> 00:21:34,880 framework within their psyche that when 559 00:21:38,789 --> 00:21:36,400 adopted by enough members of the 560 00:21:40,789 --> 00:21:38,799 planet's culture will psychologically 561 00:21:43,510 --> 00:21:40,799 prepare them to voluntarily become 562 00:21:45,430 --> 00:21:43,520 subjects of the empire it usually takes 563 00:21:47,190 --> 00:21:45,440 three or four space cycles for the 564 00:21:49,270 --> 00:21:47,200 process to complete 565 00:21:52,149 --> 00:21:49,280 now the message has to be customized for 566 00:21:54,470 --> 00:21:52,159 that planet obviously 567 00:21:57,270 --> 00:21:54,480 what do you think will work for this 568 00:22:00,870 --> 00:21:57,280 uh earth that's what it's called sorry i 569 00:22:05,430 --> 00:22:02,950 pacifism should work 570 00:22:07,510 --> 00:22:05,440 there's a lot of tension warfare 571 00:22:09,590 --> 00:22:07,520 usual primitive stuff going on i'm 572 00:22:11,990 --> 00:22:09,600 thinking the love piece understanding 573 00:22:13,830 --> 00:22:12,000 protocol should soften them up ah it's a 574 00:22:15,830 --> 00:22:13,840 classic good call 575 00:22:18,710 --> 00:22:15,840 you have a messenger picked out 576 00:22:20,789 --> 00:22:18,720 oh and how resource rich is this planet 577 00:22:23,190 --> 00:22:20,799 well it's at the bottom of the scale 578 00:22:25,110 --> 00:22:23,200 actually if we weren't in danger of 579 00:22:26,390 --> 00:22:25,120 not hitting our quota i probably would 580 00:22:28,390 --> 00:22:26,400 have ignored it 581 00:22:30,789 --> 00:22:28,400 as for a messenger that's a bit of an 582 00:22:33,029 --> 00:22:30,799 issue the brain scanner is acting up and 583 00:22:35,430 --> 00:22:33,039 the readings are all over the place 584 00:22:37,669 --> 00:22:35,440 we think we have one though regulations 585 00:22:39,990 --> 00:22:37,679 require both of us go down in the scout 586 00:22:41,909 --> 00:22:40,000 ship to do this can't you handle it by 587 00:22:43,669 --> 00:22:41,919 yourself you'll never make commander if 588 00:22:46,310 --> 00:22:43,679 you don't take the initiative i'll never 589 00:22:48,630 --> 00:22:46,320 make commander at all if people like you 590 00:22:50,950 --> 00:22:48,640 don't retire and get out of my way hey 591 00:22:53,190 --> 00:22:50,960 i'm going to retire soon but this visit 592 00:22:56,870 --> 00:22:53,200 is so easy i'd be an idiot to give it up 593 00:22:58,789 --> 00:22:56,880 now yeah i'll get the scout ship ready i 594 00:23:02,340 --> 00:22:58,799 better have time to eat lunch before we 595 00:23:02,350 --> 00:23:06,070 [Music] 596 00:23:12,149 --> 00:23:09,990 greetings earth man i am commander elon 597 00:23:14,950 --> 00:23:12,159 of the agolonian empire this is my 598 00:23:16,710 --> 00:23:14,960 associate sub leader salvariana 599 00:23:19,750 --> 00:23:16,720 am i to understand that you have a large 600 00:23:27,620 --> 00:23:19,760 degree of cultural influence on this 601 00:23:27,630 --> 00:23:32,230 [Music] 602 00:23:36,549 --> 00:23:34,070 do you have a name 603 00:23:37,669 --> 00:23:36,559 what can we call you uh 604 00:23:40,950 --> 00:23:37,679 owen 605 00:23:44,230 --> 00:23:40,960 where's agalon 606 00:23:46,630 --> 00:23:44,240 are you from space what's going on 607 00:23:48,390 --> 00:23:46,640 sir do you want to give him the speech 608 00:23:51,909 --> 00:23:48,400 don't we haven't recorded i can never 609 00:23:53,909 --> 00:23:51,919 remember the whole thing my name is elon 610 00:23:55,510 --> 00:23:53,919 commanding the agalon mothership 611 00:23:57,909 --> 00:23:55,520 orbiting your world 612 00:24:00,070 --> 00:23:57,919 we have come to initiate your world into 613 00:24:02,950 --> 00:24:00,080 the agolonian empire 614 00:24:05,990 --> 00:24:02,960 the empire a power far more advanced 615 00:24:07,990 --> 00:24:06,000 than your puny world is seeking a person 616 00:24:10,310 --> 00:24:08,000 from your world who is willing to be our 617 00:24:12,549 --> 00:24:10,320 voice and provide instruction to your 618 00:24:15,029 --> 00:24:12,559 people that will make your absorption 619 00:24:17,750 --> 00:24:15,039 into the empire less traumatic 620 00:24:19,750 --> 00:24:17,760 we have many lessons to share with you 621 00:24:21,990 --> 00:24:19,760 lessons that will lead your planet to a 622 00:24:24,710 --> 00:24:22,000 future that is less unpleasant than the 623 00:24:28,470 --> 00:24:24,720 destruction and subjugation to which we 624 00:24:30,789 --> 00:24:28,480 will if necessary resort our diplomatic 625 00:24:33,750 --> 00:24:30,799 acquisitions officer will prepare your 626 00:24:36,950 --> 00:24:33,760 mind for your role as our conduit we 627 00:24:40,230 --> 00:24:36,960 sincerely hope you'll not resist 628 00:24:42,630 --> 00:24:40,240 you're invading us not unless we have to 629 00:24:45,110 --> 00:24:42,640 eager subjects are so much easier to 630 00:24:47,430 --> 00:24:45,120 incorporate into the empire that's your 631 00:24:49,830 --> 00:24:47,440 job owen to make sure that your fellow 632 00:24:52,149 --> 00:24:49,840 humans are ready for us when we return 633 00:24:55,269 --> 00:24:52,159 if they aren't their blood will be on 634 00:24:57,269 --> 00:24:55,279 your hands i i don't have any idea how 635 00:24:59,269 --> 00:24:57,279 to do that of course you don't that's 636 00:25:01,350 --> 00:24:59,279 why i saw ariana is here 637 00:25:04,950 --> 00:25:01,360 subleader get the device 638 00:25:07,190 --> 00:25:04,960 now this part goes on your head 639 00:25:09,110 --> 00:25:07,200 sorry the probes sting a little going 640 00:25:11,669 --> 00:25:09,120 into the neural matter but it doesn't 641 00:25:15,140 --> 00:25:11,679 get too much worse worse 642 00:25:16,630 --> 00:25:15,150 a bit but only when i do this 643 00:25:19,110 --> 00:25:16,640 [Music] 644 00:25:20,149 --> 00:25:19,120 is the information implanted 645 00:25:21,350 --> 00:25:20,159 checking 646 00:25:22,390 --> 00:25:21,360 looks like it 647 00:25:25,590 --> 00:25:22,400 owen 648 00:25:28,950 --> 00:25:25,600 sally 649 00:25:30,950 --> 00:25:28,960 life 650 00:25:32,950 --> 00:25:30,960 i've never loved another woman like i 651 00:25:35,190 --> 00:25:32,960 love you sally 652 00:25:39,350 --> 00:25:35,200 please teach me the wonderful lessons of 653 00:25:40,710 --> 00:25:39,360 agalonian cosmic thought what the hell 654 00:25:43,269 --> 00:25:40,720 okay that's weird 655 00:25:44,230 --> 00:25:43,279 owen what are the three key principles 656 00:25:45,669 --> 00:25:44,240 love 657 00:25:47,190 --> 00:25:45,679 peace 658 00:25:48,870 --> 00:25:47,200 understanding 659 00:25:51,190 --> 00:25:48,880 seems okay 660 00:25:53,590 --> 00:25:51,200 and you'll share this message owen and 661 00:25:56,390 --> 00:25:53,600 the further messages we beam to you of 662 00:25:58,310 --> 00:25:56,400 course my love what 663 00:25:59,590 --> 00:25:58,320 come on tell your earth boyfriend to get 664 00:26:01,909 --> 00:25:59,600 to work and let's get back to the 665 00:26:03,830 --> 00:26:01,919 mothership i need a nap 666 00:26:06,310 --> 00:26:03,840 we'll be in touch 667 00:26:08,310 --> 00:26:06,320 get to work owen you have to use your 668 00:26:11,669 --> 00:26:08,320 influence to keep the people of earth 669 00:26:13,830 --> 00:26:11,679 safe wait i have so many questions 670 00:26:15,990 --> 00:26:13,840 darling wait 671 00:26:17,909 --> 00:26:16,000 fine we'll answer one of them 672 00:26:19,830 --> 00:26:17,919 how do you people know english 673 00:26:22,230 --> 00:26:19,840 we've been monitoring your communication 674 00:26:24,390 --> 00:26:22,240 media for some time and have programmed 675 00:26:26,149 --> 00:26:24,400 our translation units to interact 676 00:26:28,870 --> 00:26:26,159 effectively with you 677 00:26:31,110 --> 00:26:28,880 and what do you mean by influence use my 678 00:26:34,230 --> 00:26:31,120 influence you said sorry we said one 679 00:26:36,870 --> 00:26:34,240 question nap time goodbye 680 00:26:39,190 --> 00:26:36,880 wait the memory screen treatment i 681 00:26:41,269 --> 00:26:39,200 always forget that it hasn't been too 682 00:26:43,830 --> 00:26:41,279 long has it you have the pill 683 00:26:45,510 --> 00:26:43,840 yes i do because i'm a professional it 684 00:26:47,269 --> 00:26:45,520 should be fine even though we should 685 00:26:48,310 --> 00:26:47,279 have done it before the information and 686 00:26:51,029 --> 00:26:48,320 planting 687 00:26:53,830 --> 00:26:51,039 owen what's that you're drinking uh 688 00:26:56,470 --> 00:26:53,840 ginger ale here dissolve this pill in it 689 00:26:58,549 --> 00:26:56,480 and drink it it'll um provide you with 690 00:27:00,870 --> 00:26:58,559 some cosmic enlightenment i don't even 691 00:27:02,470 --> 00:27:00,880 know what's going on what's going on is 692 00:27:04,870 --> 00:27:02,480 that you're gonna drink that and do what 693 00:27:06,470 --> 00:27:04,880 we need you to do understand 694 00:27:14,230 --> 00:27:06,480 yes 695 00:27:18,950 --> 00:27:17,029 so you know the whole aglonian plan now 696 00:27:19,830 --> 00:27:18,960 let's drop in on the agalon meditation 697 00:27:20,950 --> 00:27:19,840 center 698 00:27:24,950 --> 00:27:20,960 it's 699 00:27:27,269 --> 00:27:24,960 dozens of adherents to the agalon 700 00:27:29,909 --> 00:27:27,279 philosophy of universal love peace and 701 00:27:32,470 --> 00:27:29,919 understanding have flocked to river bend 702 00:27:34,230 --> 00:27:32,480 to learn at the knee of owen hazlitt 703 00:27:36,549 --> 00:27:34,240 owen preaches messages to the men and 704 00:27:38,789 --> 00:27:36,559 women there and for an additional fee 705 00:27:41,350 --> 00:27:38,799 provides special lessons 706 00:27:43,669 --> 00:27:41,360 roslyn meanwhile manages the money books 707 00:27:45,990 --> 00:27:43,679 the lecture tours and is hard at work on 708 00:27:47,430 --> 00:27:46,000 a book length version of the story 709 00:27:50,070 --> 00:27:47,440 let's join our 710 00:27:52,310 --> 00:27:50,080 well not heroes but still they're all 711 00:27:53,990 --> 00:27:52,320 we've got okay hazlitt we're gonna have 712 00:27:56,549 --> 00:27:54,000 to look at your lecture schedule at some 713 00:27:58,230 --> 00:27:56,559 point you got time tonight uh nope i've 714 00:28:00,470 --> 00:27:58,240 got a fundraising meeting with a group 715 00:28:02,710 --> 00:28:00,480 from muncie oh good do you think they'll 716 00:28:04,870 --> 00:28:02,720 contribute much i wanted to get a couple 717 00:28:07,110 --> 00:28:04,880 new cars for the next lecture tour we 718 00:28:08,630 --> 00:28:07,120 gotta look classy hazlitt no one is 719 00:28:10,710 --> 00:28:08,640 going to believe someone who drives a 720 00:28:12,630 --> 00:28:10,720 beater i think they'll realize that part 721 00:28:14,789 --> 00:28:12,640 of their calling as children of agalon 722 00:28:16,789 --> 00:28:14,799 is to financially support our mission 723 00:28:18,710 --> 00:28:16,799 well yeah churches and charities have 724 00:28:20,710 --> 00:28:18,720 been doing this forever about time the 725 00:28:22,070 --> 00:28:20,720 rest of us get in on some of the action 726 00:28:24,149 --> 00:28:22,080 and we're not ripping anybody off 727 00:28:26,549 --> 00:28:24,159 rosalind it's not some kind of scam the 728 00:28:28,470 --> 00:28:26,559 agilonians can't directly help because 729 00:28:31,350 --> 00:28:28,480 they don't use money they have a prior 730 00:28:33,350 --> 00:28:31,360 choice economic system uh what now it's 731 00:28:35,590 --> 00:28:33,360 really complicated sally explained it to 732 00:28:38,389 --> 00:28:35,600 me in her last transmission nothing here 733 00:28:40,789 --> 00:28:38,399 is illegal these are free will offerings 734 00:28:42,549 --> 00:28:40,799 and the tax stuff well i'm pretty sure 735 00:28:44,070 --> 00:28:42,559 we're safe on that front well in a 736 00:28:46,149 --> 00:28:44,080 little while when sally and her people 737 00:28:48,149 --> 00:28:46,159 return taxes won't matter 738 00:28:50,470 --> 00:28:48,159 yeah well now they matter and i don't 739 00:28:53,510 --> 00:28:50,480 want to do federal time again i mean 740 00:28:55,590 --> 00:28:53,520 what long story okay 741 00:28:57,590 --> 00:28:55,600 so how are we doing on money since we 742 00:28:59,669 --> 00:28:57,600 still need some for the time being not 743 00:29:02,070 --> 00:28:59,679 bad getting that widow to sign over her 744 00:29:04,230 --> 00:29:02,080 farm was brilliant hazlitt we're gonna 745 00:29:06,470 --> 00:29:04,240 sell it quick at least before the next 746 00:29:08,389 --> 00:29:06,480 property taxes are due so that's gonna 747 00:29:10,870 --> 00:29:08,399 pay off your mortgage on the meditation 748 00:29:12,470 --> 00:29:10,880 center here then the cash flow is gonna 749 00:29:14,389 --> 00:29:12,480 look really good 750 00:29:16,870 --> 00:29:14,399 but i think it's time to increase the 751 00:29:18,789 --> 00:29:16,880 fees across the board i wish we didn't 752 00:29:20,470 --> 00:29:18,799 have to charge people anything at all 753 00:29:22,870 --> 00:29:20,480 we'd probably get more believers if we 754 00:29:25,190 --> 00:29:22,880 didn't look if i've told you once i've 755 00:29:27,110 --> 00:29:25,200 told you a thousand times this isn't a 756 00:29:29,990 --> 00:29:27,120 charity 757 00:29:32,549 --> 00:29:30,000 then why do we accept donations i mean 758 00:29:34,389 --> 00:29:32,559 it's not a real charity we just sort of 759 00:29:36,470 --> 00:29:34,399 give the impression it is 760 00:29:38,870 --> 00:29:36,480 i'm not sure the agilonians would like 761 00:29:41,269 --> 00:29:38,880 that well they're not here are they no 762 00:29:43,669 --> 00:29:41,279 but they're on their way so 763 00:29:46,310 --> 00:29:43,679 when do they arrive soon i've been in 764 00:29:49,190 --> 00:29:46,320 contact with sally she and elon will be 765 00:29:51,510 --> 00:29:49,200 here within one of our earth months 766 00:29:53,430 --> 00:29:51,520 sure whatever kid i'm gonna go call 767 00:29:55,590 --> 00:29:53,440 gallipoli and see if we can get some 768 00:29:57,029 --> 00:29:55,600 cheap ad space for the book i'm gonna go 769 00:29:58,389 --> 00:29:57,039 to the meditation center to meet with 770 00:29:59,830 --> 00:29:58,399 some of the new recruits these 771 00:30:01,510 --> 00:29:59,840 housewives from muncie say their 772 00:30:03,350 --> 00:30:01,520 husbands need to hide some money i'm not 773 00:30:05,510 --> 00:30:03,360 sure what that means but uh i think 774 00:30:09,669 --> 00:30:05,520 it'll work out in our favor i think this 775 00:30:11,350 --> 00:30:09,679 is all going to work out just fine 776 00:30:12,950 --> 00:30:11,360 so all of you are here because you want 777 00:30:14,470 --> 00:30:12,960 something new in your life 778 00:30:16,389 --> 00:30:14,480 you're tired of the way things have been 779 00:30:18,310 --> 00:30:16,399 going you're like i was when i was 780 00:30:19,909 --> 00:30:18,320 leaning up against that tree in vietnam 781 00:30:22,870 --> 00:30:19,919 before sally shared with me mystic 782 00:30:24,789 --> 00:30:22,880 revelations that experience changed me 783 00:30:26,630 --> 00:30:24,799 it opened my mind to possibilities that 784 00:30:28,389 --> 00:30:26,640 i had never before considered 785 00:30:30,549 --> 00:30:28,399 peace and love and understanding are 786 00:30:33,510 --> 00:30:30,559 available to all if they have the means 787 00:30:35,430 --> 00:30:33,520 to seek it and it's means i want to talk 788 00:30:37,190 --> 00:30:35,440 to you about some of you are able to 789 00:30:40,310 --> 00:30:37,200 contribute to the material needs of our 790 00:30:42,310 --> 00:30:40,320 work here in substantial ways for you 791 00:30:44,389 --> 00:30:42,320 enlightenment may come sooner 792 00:30:45,990 --> 00:30:44,399 for the agilonians recognize the value 793 00:30:47,590 --> 00:30:46,000 of your contributions 794 00:30:49,350 --> 00:30:47,600 for those of you who are unable to give 795 00:30:50,389 --> 00:30:49,360 because of the very modest fees we have 796 00:30:52,470 --> 00:30:50,399 to charge 797 00:30:54,950 --> 00:30:52,480 do not worry enlightenment will come to 798 00:30:56,230 --> 00:30:54,960 you as well it just may take a little 799 00:30:58,710 --> 00:30:56,240 longer 800 00:31:01,909 --> 00:30:58,720 now if you'll turn with me to page 32 in 801 00:31:03,669 --> 00:31:01,919 the study guide we'll begin 802 00:31:04,389 --> 00:31:03,679 so we can do a full page ad for that 803 00:31:06,549 --> 00:31:04,399 price 804 00:31:08,950 --> 00:31:06,559 maybe three issues 805 00:31:10,710 --> 00:31:08,960 yes that's fine mcirish 806 00:31:12,710 --> 00:31:10,720 so how are things going down in that 807 00:31:15,669 --> 00:31:12,720 hippie commune of yours 808 00:31:18,070 --> 00:31:15,679 well it's not mine but things are going 809 00:31:19,909 --> 00:31:18,080 okay everybody who's here is paying 810 00:31:21,509 --> 00:31:19,919 money and we're finding good ways to 811 00:31:23,590 --> 00:31:21,519 charge them extra for things that 812 00:31:25,830 --> 00:31:23,600 shouldn't cost any money at all 813 00:31:27,990 --> 00:31:25,840 these deviant long hairs deserve to have 814 00:31:29,669 --> 00:31:28,000 every red scent taken from them what's 815 00:31:31,430 --> 00:31:29,679 the deal with this owen character does 816 00:31:33,430 --> 00:31:31,440 he believe any of this stuff 817 00:31:35,269 --> 00:31:33,440 i think he believes that what he says 818 00:31:37,990 --> 00:31:35,279 happened to him happened 819 00:31:40,389 --> 00:31:38,000 but i also think that at some level he 820 00:31:42,230 --> 00:31:40,399 knows that what we turned his story into 821 00:31:44,630 --> 00:31:42,240 is getting him a lot more financial 822 00:31:45,430 --> 00:31:44,640 benefit than what he originally came up 823 00:31:47,350 --> 00:31:45,440 with 824 00:31:49,350 --> 00:31:47,360 personally i'm pretty sure he's making 825 00:31:51,190 --> 00:31:49,360 the whole thing up but i'm getting my 826 00:31:54,710 --> 00:31:51,200 sixty percent so 827 00:31:56,710 --> 00:31:54,720 sixty percent uh good job mick irish 828 00:31:58,230 --> 00:31:56,720 soak this delusional nut for everything 829 00:32:00,149 --> 00:31:58,240 that he's got 830 00:32:01,750 --> 00:32:00,159 did i ever tell you about the time i ran 831 00:32:03,430 --> 00:32:01,760 a record company 832 00:32:05,269 --> 00:32:03,440 it only lasted a couple of years because 833 00:32:07,029 --> 00:32:05,279 i couldn't stand dealing with the freaks 834 00:32:09,430 --> 00:32:07,039 and weirdos that inhabit that scene 835 00:32:11,509 --> 00:32:09,440 always going on about creative freedom 836 00:32:12,389 --> 00:32:11,519 and other socialist nonsense had to get 837 00:32:16,230 --> 00:32:12,399 out 838 00:32:18,630 --> 00:32:16,240 sooner or later too you know that right 839 00:32:21,350 --> 00:32:18,640 why i'm making more money than i have in 840 00:32:23,830 --> 00:32:21,360 years and i have no expenses since i can 841 00:32:25,750 --> 00:32:23,840 live at the meditation center for free 842 00:32:27,590 --> 00:32:25,760 my god listen to yourself mick irish 843 00:32:29,190 --> 00:32:27,600 you're turning into one of them 844 00:32:31,430 --> 00:32:29,200 anyone who can put up with living at a 845 00:32:34,070 --> 00:32:31,440 ufo alien meditation center for any 846 00:32:36,630 --> 00:32:34,080 reason at all is in too deep i'll keep 847 00:32:38,310 --> 00:32:36,640 that in mind sir i'll have the ad copy 848 00:32:39,990 --> 00:32:38,320 to you by the end of the week 849 00:32:42,789 --> 00:32:40,000 i may have to come down to this place 850 00:32:44,230 --> 00:32:42,799 and see what's going on there personally 851 00:32:46,070 --> 00:32:44,240 remind myself what it is that i'm 852 00:32:48,470 --> 00:32:46,080 fighting for in this magazine the 853 00:32:50,149 --> 00:32:48,480 propagation of common sense red blooded 854 00:32:52,789 --> 00:32:50,159 american values and 855 00:32:56,310 --> 00:32:52,799 photo layouts of stunning redheads 856 00:32:58,549 --> 00:32:56,320 you're welcome anytime sir 857 00:33:00,549 --> 00:32:58,559 owen has a good thing going 858 00:33:02,470 --> 00:33:00,559 roslyn is making money 859 00:33:03,909 --> 00:33:02,480 mr gallipoli is selling lots of 860 00:33:06,470 --> 00:33:03,919 magazines 861 00:33:09,669 --> 00:33:06,480 but all good things come to an end 862 00:33:13,669 --> 00:33:09,679 the agilonians are returning 863 00:33:15,350 --> 00:33:13,679 so it's a year later and we're back at 864 00:33:18,549 --> 00:33:15,360 what's it called 865 00:33:19,990 --> 00:33:18,559 earth sir ah yes earth the one with your 866 00:33:22,470 --> 00:33:20,000 boyfriend 867 00:33:24,789 --> 00:33:22,480 anyway whatever have you located him 868 00:33:26,789 --> 00:33:24,799 does it seem like these people are ripe 869 00:33:29,190 --> 00:33:26,799 for joining the empire 870 00:33:31,430 --> 00:33:29,200 scanning now sir it looks like media 871 00:33:32,870 --> 00:33:31,440 penetration is less than total 872 00:33:35,190 --> 00:33:32,880 there's lots of chatters about the 873 00:33:36,950 --> 00:33:35,200 visitors from outer space but it's not 874 00:33:39,110 --> 00:33:36,960 that different from before we converted 875 00:33:40,389 --> 00:33:39,120 owen i mean the human 876 00:33:41,750 --> 00:33:40,399 explanation 877 00:33:43,990 --> 00:33:41,760 well 878 00:33:46,549 --> 00:33:44,000 maybe we're just not interpreting things 879 00:33:47,509 --> 00:33:46,559 correctly the protocol has never failed 880 00:33:48,870 --> 00:33:47,519 before 881 00:33:50,830 --> 00:33:48,880 i think i've located the humans 882 00:33:53,830 --> 00:33:50,840 headquarters it's 883 00:33:55,110 --> 00:33:53,840 unimpressive well that's disturbing i 884 00:33:56,710 --> 00:33:55,120 would have thought our representative 885 00:33:57,909 --> 00:33:56,720 would have done better for himself than 886 00:33:59,669 --> 00:33:57,919 this 887 00:34:01,990 --> 00:33:59,679 anyway let's go down there and see 888 00:34:03,830 --> 00:34:02,000 what's going on with all this if this 889 00:34:04,860 --> 00:34:03,840 all falls apart i'll never be able to 890 00:34:09,270 --> 00:34:04,870 retire 891 00:34:12,869 --> 00:34:11,430 thanks for coming everyone i just wanted 892 00:34:14,950 --> 00:34:12,879 to get us all together to go over the 893 00:34:17,510 --> 00:34:14,960 agenda for tonight rosalind here my 894 00:34:19,190 --> 00:34:17,520 press girl i'm not your press girl 895 00:34:21,030 --> 00:34:19,200 my press lady 896 00:34:23,909 --> 00:34:21,040 one of these days is going to fill you 897 00:34:25,829 --> 00:34:23,919 in on what's going on okay so as some of 898 00:34:27,829 --> 00:34:25,839 you have heard a tv news crew from 899 00:34:30,230 --> 00:34:27,839 indianapolis is coming up here to do a 900 00:34:33,510 --> 00:34:30,240 story on the meditation center and the 901 00:34:35,669 --> 00:34:33,520 agolonians teachings now they may want 902 00:34:37,669 --> 00:34:35,679 to talk to some of you and i may not 903 00:34:39,829 --> 00:34:37,679 always be there to 904 00:34:41,589 --> 00:34:39,839 deflect them from some of the more 905 00:34:44,149 --> 00:34:41,599 pointed or 906 00:34:46,869 --> 00:34:44,159 uncomfortable questions so i've got some 907 00:34:50,069 --> 00:34:46,879 ground rules for you to follow first do 908 00:34:53,829 --> 00:34:50,079 not and i mean do not mention outer 909 00:34:56,629 --> 00:34:53,839 space ufos anything like that we are a 910 00:35:00,069 --> 00:34:56,639 meditation center owen is your spiritual 911 00:35:03,349 --> 00:35:00,079 leader and it is all very very earthly 912 00:35:07,750 --> 00:35:05,589 look i know you all believe the alien 913 00:35:10,870 --> 00:35:07,760 thing but it'll make you look crazy 914 00:35:13,910 --> 00:35:10,880 crazier and that's what they want so no 915 00:35:17,829 --> 00:35:13,920 aliens okay second do not mention 916 00:35:20,390 --> 00:35:17,839 anything about money not at all ever i 917 00:35:22,390 --> 00:35:20,400 can't emphasize this enough 918 00:35:24,950 --> 00:35:22,400 so roslyn is there anything they can 919 00:35:27,349 --> 00:35:24,960 talk about peace love universal 920 00:35:30,790 --> 00:35:27,359 understanding the bland stuff stay bland 921 00:35:32,870 --> 00:35:30,800 stay boring but not too boring 922 00:35:34,790 --> 00:35:32,880 right that's the tough part we have to 923 00:35:37,349 --> 00:35:34,800 prevent anyone from thinking this is 924 00:35:39,190 --> 00:35:37,359 some kind of weirdo space cult but still 925 00:35:41,990 --> 00:35:39,200 be interesting enough to attract new 926 00:35:44,390 --> 00:35:42,000 people and their money but remember no 927 00:35:46,630 --> 00:35:44,400 one mentioned money no one mentioned 928 00:35:48,550 --> 00:35:46,640 that they paid owen anything they'll use 929 00:35:51,270 --> 00:35:48,560 that information to destroy him to 930 00:35:53,750 --> 00:35:51,280 destroy all of us leave everything to me 931 00:35:55,190 --> 00:35:53,760 and owen we know how to do this stuff 932 00:35:59,040 --> 00:35:55,200 but the rest of you 933 00:36:03,270 --> 00:35:59,050 just say as little as possible 934 00:36:07,030 --> 00:36:04,870 what the hell 935 00:36:10,069 --> 00:36:07,040 they're they're back 936 00:36:12,470 --> 00:36:10,079 i knew it see see roslyn it's all real i 937 00:36:15,410 --> 00:36:12,480 have no idea what to say that i was 938 00:36:20,430 --> 00:36:15,420 right all along never 939 00:36:28,230 --> 00:36:23,510 salvariana you handle all this i want to 940 00:36:32,390 --> 00:36:30,310 earth man owen 941 00:36:33,750 --> 00:36:32,400 are they ready 942 00:36:35,589 --> 00:36:33,760 for what 943 00:36:37,030 --> 00:36:35,599 oh 944 00:36:39,349 --> 00:36:37,040 shut up sir 945 00:36:42,630 --> 00:36:39,359 owen ready for peacefully entering the 946 00:36:45,829 --> 00:36:42,640 empire is humanity subdued pacified 947 00:36:47,430 --> 00:36:45,839 prepared oh wow not at all but we've got 948 00:36:49,670 --> 00:36:47,440 a good start there are about 30 of us 949 00:36:51,109 --> 00:36:49,680 here and more every day 950 00:36:52,630 --> 00:36:51,119 every month 951 00:36:53,990 --> 00:36:52,640 most months 952 00:36:55,990 --> 00:36:54,000 now that you and the commander are here 953 00:36:58,470 --> 00:36:56,000 to share more of your agalonian wisdom 954 00:37:00,470 --> 00:36:58,480 our numbers could could double 955 00:37:03,670 --> 00:37:00,480 now what's this empire you're talking 956 00:37:05,510 --> 00:37:03,680 about your boyfriend's an idiot 957 00:37:07,750 --> 00:37:05,520 he's not my 958 00:37:08,710 --> 00:37:07,760 anyway this is weird you've got that 959 00:37:11,109 --> 00:37:08,720 right 960 00:37:12,950 --> 00:37:11,119 and you are i'm roslyn and i've been 961 00:37:13,910 --> 00:37:12,960 helping him spread his 962 00:37:16,470 --> 00:37:13,920 your 963 00:37:20,150 --> 00:37:16,480 someone's message are you really from 964 00:37:22,630 --> 00:37:20,160 space and what's all this pacifying us 965 00:37:25,190 --> 00:37:22,640 i don't need to respond to you human 966 00:37:27,829 --> 00:37:25,200 your only role here is to submit or die 967 00:37:30,310 --> 00:37:27,839 wait what hey now sally don't talk to 968 00:37:33,349 --> 00:37:30,320 her like that she's on our side 969 00:37:35,750 --> 00:37:33,359 do not call me sally owen do you really 970 00:37:36,790 --> 00:37:35,760 not understand what's at stake here at 971 00:37:38,390 --> 00:37:36,800 stake 972 00:37:43,589 --> 00:37:38,400 i thought you came back here to be with 973 00:37:46,630 --> 00:37:44,550 owen 974 00:37:48,790 --> 00:37:46,640 your job was to prepare humanity to get 975 00:37:50,870 --> 00:37:48,800 pulled into our empire 976 00:37:52,710 --> 00:37:50,880 otherwise we have to conquer you and 977 00:37:54,310 --> 00:37:52,720 that won't be pleasant 978 00:37:57,349 --> 00:37:54,320 are you saying that you don't remember 979 00:37:59,510 --> 00:37:57,359 that part of it no this is crazy go 980 00:38:01,670 --> 00:37:59,520 ahead and try to conquer us we've got 981 00:38:03,990 --> 00:38:01,680 nukes and your flying saucer looks like 982 00:38:06,950 --> 00:38:04,000 a piece of junk you fly through space in 983 00:38:09,030 --> 00:38:06,960 that thing well it's just a scout ship 984 00:38:11,990 --> 00:38:09,040 the mothership is much more impressive 985 00:38:13,750 --> 00:38:12,000 it would have to be in any case owen 986 00:38:15,510 --> 00:38:13,760 we've been counting on you to prepare 987 00:38:17,349 --> 00:38:15,520 earth for our arrival 988 00:38:19,670 --> 00:38:17,359 selflessly and in the service of the 989 00:38:22,630 --> 00:38:19,680 agilonian empire which you have been 990 00:38:23,829 --> 00:38:22,640 conditioned and programmed to serve 991 00:38:26,150 --> 00:38:23,839 yikes 992 00:38:28,470 --> 00:38:26,160 sally what are you talking about 993 00:38:30,069 --> 00:38:28,480 what do you mean what am i talking about 994 00:38:31,510 --> 00:38:30,079 don't you remember 995 00:38:32,950 --> 00:38:31,520 remember what 996 00:38:36,870 --> 00:38:32,960 our kiss 997 00:38:39,030 --> 00:38:36,880 kiss what is wrong with you uh let's go 998 00:38:43,829 --> 00:38:39,040 inside and get away from the rest of the 999 00:38:47,670 --> 00:38:46,710 now you were saying owen you know when 1000 00:38:51,750 --> 00:38:47,680 we 1001 00:38:53,829 --> 00:38:51,760 this is going to be fun 1002 00:38:55,670 --> 00:38:53,839 when we kissed that's how you put the 1003 00:38:57,349 --> 00:38:55,680 information in my brain and i don't 1004 00:38:59,910 --> 00:38:57,359 remember anything about you taking over 1005 00:39:01,349 --> 00:38:59,920 the planet what about peace and love and 1006 00:39:04,069 --> 00:39:01,359 understanding 1007 00:39:08,630 --> 00:39:04,079 i don't know what kiss means so i'll 1008 00:39:12,790 --> 00:39:11,670 oh my goodness we absolutely did not do 1009 00:39:18,069 --> 00:39:12,800 that 1010 00:39:20,150 --> 00:39:18,079 to exaggerate must be tough to have your 1011 00:39:22,390 --> 00:39:20,160 reputation ruined on an interplanetary 1012 00:39:23,990 --> 00:39:22,400 scale though kissing every earth dope 1013 00:39:26,950 --> 00:39:24,000 you find 1014 00:39:28,550 --> 00:39:26,960 don't call me sally oh this will be the 1015 00:39:31,829 --> 00:39:28,560 talk of the fleet 1016 00:39:35,109 --> 00:39:31,839 sally and the earth dope so what about 1017 00:39:37,190 --> 00:39:35,119 this invasion so why do i remember what 1018 00:39:38,069 --> 00:39:37,200 didn't happen and can't remember what 1019 00:39:40,790 --> 00:39:38,079 did 1020 00:39:42,950 --> 00:39:40,800 i think my question is more important 1021 00:39:45,510 --> 00:39:42,960 it's not excuse me 1022 00:39:47,510 --> 00:39:45,520 owen's brain problem is the real problem 1023 00:39:50,150 --> 00:39:47,520 what might have happened is that we gave 1024 00:39:52,470 --> 00:39:50,160 him the memory treatment the what i 1025 00:39:54,630 --> 00:39:52,480 think she means the magic ginger ale 1026 00:39:56,870 --> 00:39:54,640 that was real 1027 00:39:58,710 --> 00:39:56,880 i'm not even sure anymore 1028 00:40:00,950 --> 00:39:58,720 anyway we must have given him the memory 1029 00:40:02,790 --> 00:40:00,960 treatment too late into the process 1030 00:40:06,069 --> 00:40:02,800 there can be complications 1031 00:40:07,910 --> 00:40:06,079 rare but they happen so wait uh 1032 00:40:09,190 --> 00:40:07,920 equipment failure 1033 00:40:11,990 --> 00:40:09,200 seems likely 1034 00:40:13,829 --> 00:40:12,000 so we have to shift to the conquest 1035 00:40:16,230 --> 00:40:13,839 protocol this is gonna wreck my 1036 00:40:17,910 --> 00:40:16,240 retirement plans so because owen 1037 00:40:20,550 --> 00:40:17,920 couldn't convince us to give up we get 1038 00:40:22,630 --> 00:40:20,560 conquered right can't you i don't know 1039 00:40:25,990 --> 00:40:22,640 just not 1040 00:40:27,990 --> 00:40:26,000 that's not an option human why not well 1041 00:40:30,470 --> 00:40:28,000 because we'd get in trouble earth's on 1042 00:40:32,950 --> 00:40:30,480 the list if i don't follow the list 1043 00:40:34,470 --> 00:40:32,960 there's consequences 1044 00:40:35,910 --> 00:40:34,480 unless 1045 00:40:38,150 --> 00:40:35,920 sir 1046 00:40:39,589 --> 00:40:38,160 are you familiar with the reversion 1047 00:40:41,750 --> 00:40:39,599 protocol 1048 00:40:43,829 --> 00:40:41,760 surely that doesn't apply here that's 1049 00:40:45,670 --> 00:40:43,839 only for the original messenger dying 1050 00:40:48,790 --> 00:40:45,680 before the mission is complete 1051 00:40:52,309 --> 00:40:48,800 well the mission isn't complete 1052 00:40:54,710 --> 00:40:52,319 but owen's life but does he have to be 1053 00:40:56,550 --> 00:40:54,720 wait are you going to kill him oh 1054 00:40:59,109 --> 00:40:56,560 they're going to kill me 1055 00:41:01,750 --> 00:40:59,119 sir that doesn't sound like you 1056 00:41:04,390 --> 00:41:01,760 i think it sounds just like you people 1057 00:41:07,109 --> 00:41:04,400 from what i've seen so far look it's 1058 00:41:08,630 --> 00:41:07,119 distasteful yes but if we eliminate your 1059 00:41:11,670 --> 00:41:08,640 boyfriend here then we can choose 1060 00:41:13,670 --> 00:41:11,680 another candidate get it right this time 1061 00:41:16,150 --> 00:41:13,680 submit the reversion paperwork and then 1062 00:41:18,550 --> 00:41:16,160 i retire earth will be someone else's 1063 00:41:20,390 --> 00:41:18,560 problem it's the easiest way for me to 1064 00:41:23,270 --> 00:41:20,400 get what i want 1065 00:41:26,390 --> 00:41:23,280 what about what i want what would i want 1066 00:41:28,710 --> 00:41:26,400 what do you want for you to go for you 1067 00:41:30,550 --> 00:41:28,720 to stop messing up this modest yet 1068 00:41:32,550 --> 00:41:30,560 workable money machine i've put together 1069 00:41:35,349 --> 00:41:32,560 here and i wouldn't want stuff too what 1070 00:41:36,390 --> 00:41:35,359 do you want owen sally i just want to be 1071 00:41:40,230 --> 00:41:36,400 with you 1072 00:41:41,109 --> 00:41:40,240 and our followers 1073 00:41:43,030 --> 00:41:41,119 sir 1074 00:41:45,510 --> 00:41:43,040 what do you want to do 1075 00:41:46,550 --> 00:41:45,520 well i want to shoot your boyfriend for 1076 00:41:49,670 --> 00:41:46,560 sure 1077 00:41:51,670 --> 00:41:49,680 as for the rest i need to figure it out 1078 00:41:56,710 --> 00:41:51,680 lock up the humans until we can get 1079 00:42:01,109 --> 00:41:59,109 i can't believe the agallonians are 1080 00:42:03,910 --> 00:42:01,119 going to kill me i can't believe there's 1081 00:42:06,470 --> 00:42:03,920 agilonians i can't believe this mission 1082 00:42:08,630 --> 00:42:06,480 went so wrong so quickly 1083 00:42:11,030 --> 00:42:08,640 we don't usually execute our messengers 1084 00:42:13,109 --> 00:42:11,040 owen we sometimes need to lobotomize 1085 00:42:15,190 --> 00:42:13,119 them and put them to work in the mines 1086 00:42:18,230 --> 00:42:15,200 or something but murder 1087 00:42:19,190 --> 00:42:18,240 this isn't the protocol 1088 00:42:20,870 --> 00:42:19,200 you know 1089 00:42:22,470 --> 00:42:20,880 you're the one doing all the work around 1090 00:42:24,550 --> 00:42:22,480 here sally 1091 00:42:25,750 --> 00:42:24,560 my name's not 1092 00:42:27,829 --> 00:42:25,760 never mind 1093 00:42:29,589 --> 00:42:27,839 and yes i'm aware of that what's it to 1094 00:42:31,990 --> 00:42:29,599 you human 1095 00:42:33,430 --> 00:42:32,000 how come you call him owen and you call 1096 00:42:35,349 --> 00:42:33,440 me human 1097 00:42:38,230 --> 00:42:35,359 because we're in love 1098 00:42:39,109 --> 00:42:38,240 no owen seems harmless and well-meaning 1099 00:42:50,630 --> 00:42:39,119 you 1100 00:42:51,829 --> 00:42:50,640 oh i don't mind killing people 1101 00:42:54,069 --> 00:42:51,839 rosalind 1102 00:42:56,230 --> 00:42:54,079 but this just seems like a waste and to 1103 00:42:57,670 --> 00:42:56,240 start over with a new messenger 1104 00:42:59,190 --> 00:42:57,680 when there are hundreds of people who 1105 00:43:01,589 --> 00:42:59,200 already know about us 1106 00:43:03,589 --> 00:43:01,599 this isn't how it's supposed to work 1107 00:43:04,790 --> 00:43:03,599 well if it helps it's probably more like 1108 00:43:07,270 --> 00:43:04,800 dozens 1109 00:43:08,470 --> 00:43:07,280 i just want a promotion i want elon's 1110 00:43:09,990 --> 00:43:08,480 job 1111 00:43:12,230 --> 00:43:10,000 i wouldn't have screwed it up like he 1112 00:43:15,030 --> 00:43:12,240 did you'd all be loyal subjects of 1113 00:43:17,190 --> 00:43:15,040 agalon now if i'd been in charge not 1114 00:43:19,750 --> 00:43:17,200 sure how that's better it'd be better 1115 00:43:21,270 --> 00:43:19,760 for me and owen he'd be safe you're 1116 00:43:23,670 --> 00:43:21,280 disruptive and would probably be 1117 00:43:26,630 --> 00:43:23,680 liquidated quickly hey she's all right 1118 00:43:28,630 --> 00:43:26,640 thanks owen if elon weren't in charge 1119 00:43:30,390 --> 00:43:28,640 i'd have some more options 1120 00:43:31,589 --> 00:43:30,400 so take over 1121 00:43:32,950 --> 00:43:31,599 what 1122 00:43:36,309 --> 00:43:32,960 take over 1123 00:43:39,270 --> 00:43:36,319 like a mutiny or just shoot the [\h__\h] 1124 00:43:41,270 --> 00:43:39,280 that's not a bad idea roslyn really i 1125 00:43:43,270 --> 00:43:41,280 was just sort of joking can't you think 1126 00:43:45,589 --> 00:43:43,280 of something more subtle 1127 00:43:47,910 --> 00:43:45,599 i'm not sure there's time owen what do 1128 00:43:49,510 --> 00:43:47,920 you think oh sally i think you probably 1129 00:43:53,349 --> 00:43:49,520 have a better idea of what's going on 1130 00:43:55,109 --> 00:43:53,359 than we do you're like a puppy owen 1131 00:43:58,150 --> 00:43:55,119 i have far more knowledge than either of 1132 00:43:59,430 --> 00:43:58,160 you and i think killing elon solves all 1133 00:44:01,990 --> 00:43:59,440 our problems 1134 00:44:04,390 --> 00:44:02,000 i can keep the earth safe just adjust a 1135 00:44:07,109 --> 00:44:04,400 few records on the ship i get a command 1136 00:44:08,550 --> 00:44:07,119 of my own and i can come with you really 1137 00:44:10,550 --> 00:44:08,560 perhaps someone perhaps 1138 00:44:12,470 --> 00:44:10,560 we do have an inner species exchange 1139 00:44:15,750 --> 00:44:12,480 program but earth would need to be a 1140 00:44:18,790 --> 00:44:15,760 member of the empire sounds great 1141 00:44:20,390 --> 00:44:18,800 whose side are you on sally's 1142 00:44:22,710 --> 00:44:20,400 look if it keeps us from getting 1143 00:44:24,950 --> 00:44:22,720 conquered you can make gugu eyes at her 1144 00:44:27,910 --> 00:44:24,960 for the rest of your life sally let's go 1145 00:44:31,270 --> 00:44:28,710 so 1146 00:44:33,430 --> 00:44:31,280 the agalon meditation center 1147 00:44:35,190 --> 00:44:33,440 wonder where mick irish is be nice to 1148 00:44:38,069 --> 00:44:35,200 get a tour 1149 00:44:39,589 --> 00:44:38,079 say are you a human 1150 00:44:41,270 --> 00:44:39,599 what kind of question is that you some 1151 00:44:44,150 --> 00:44:41,280 kind of weirdo 1152 00:44:47,109 --> 00:44:44,160 well from your perspective perhaps 1153 00:44:49,510 --> 00:44:47,119 my name is elon and i'm a commander at 1154 00:44:51,910 --> 00:44:49,520 the agalonian fleet 1155 00:44:54,710 --> 00:44:51,920 hmm good to meet you allen name's 1156 00:44:57,670 --> 00:44:54,720 gallipoli i'm in the magazine business 1157 00:44:59,670 --> 00:44:57,680 i have no idea what that means 1158 00:45:02,150 --> 00:44:59,680 is that supposed to be funny 1159 00:45:04,069 --> 00:45:02,160 i'm not a funny person 1160 00:45:05,109 --> 00:45:04,079 um that's something we have in common my 1161 00:45:08,790 --> 00:45:05,119 friend 1162 00:45:10,710 --> 00:45:08,800 so what's going on here i wish i knew we 1163 00:45:12,790 --> 00:45:10,720 were supposed to take over this planet 1164 00:45:15,349 --> 00:45:12,800 but everything's going wrong i'm 1165 00:45:16,870 --> 00:45:15,359 supposed to retire you know 1166 00:45:18,710 --> 00:45:16,880 take over the planet 1167 00:45:21,109 --> 00:45:18,720 use some kind of nut 1168 00:45:22,230 --> 00:45:21,119 i've taken over lots of planets at least 1169 00:45:23,670 --> 00:45:22,240 seven 1170 00:45:25,430 --> 00:45:23,680 eight baby 1171 00:45:26,390 --> 00:45:25,440 i forget 1172 00:45:29,349 --> 00:45:26,400 hmm 1173 00:45:31,430 --> 00:45:29,359 you sound like an interesting man alan 1174 00:45:32,870 --> 00:45:31,440 tell me have you been in outer space a 1175 00:45:35,190 --> 00:45:32,880 long time 1176 00:45:37,829 --> 00:45:35,200 oh spent my whole career on various 1177 00:45:40,390 --> 00:45:37,839 ships at the agalonian fleet i voted the 1178 00:45:42,230 --> 00:45:40,400 comet war too you probably don't know 1179 00:45:44,150 --> 00:45:42,240 what that is 1180 00:45:47,030 --> 00:45:44,160 no i don't but i i bet it's a 1181 00:45:48,550 --> 00:45:47,040 fascinating story do you have a lot of 1182 00:45:51,190 --> 00:45:48,560 stories 1183 00:45:53,030 --> 00:45:51,200 oh yes no one wants to hear them though 1184 00:45:54,390 --> 00:45:53,040 everyone thinks i'm just a boring old 1185 00:45:57,910 --> 00:45:54,400 has been 1186 00:45:59,750 --> 00:45:57,920 i mean i am but i wasn't always 1187 00:46:01,670 --> 00:45:59,760 i may have some opportunities for you 1188 00:46:03,270 --> 00:46:01,680 alan get you back on the straight and 1189 00:46:06,230 --> 00:46:03,280 narrow i can tell you've been through 1190 00:46:09,430 --> 00:46:06,240 some rough times drugs probably 1191 00:46:11,349 --> 00:46:09,440 drags still no matter drugs drink 1192 00:46:12,150 --> 00:46:11,359 whatever's laid you low we can overcome 1193 00:46:15,910 --> 00:46:12,160 it 1194 00:46:17,510 --> 00:46:15,920 okay whatever i'm going to go take a nap 1195 00:46:20,470 --> 00:46:17,520 elon 1196 00:46:23,030 --> 00:46:20,480 ah sub leader are you ready to take care 1197 00:46:24,150 --> 00:46:23,040 of that earth man of yours 1198 00:46:26,230 --> 00:46:24,160 wait 1199 00:46:29,109 --> 00:46:26,240 why are they with you 1200 00:46:32,230 --> 00:46:29,119 there's been a change of plans elon 1201 00:46:33,990 --> 00:46:32,240 put that down are you insane look sir 1202 00:46:37,270 --> 00:46:34,000 this way everything works out for the 1203 00:46:39,030 --> 00:46:37,280 best i get your job owen is safe and 1204 00:46:40,950 --> 00:46:39,040 earth gets left alone 1205 00:46:42,710 --> 00:46:40,960 i don't care about earth really but 1206 00:46:45,349 --> 00:46:42,720 covering all of this up would probably 1207 00:46:48,069 --> 00:46:45,359 be the best thing for my career you 1208 00:46:50,150 --> 00:46:48,079 you're going to kill me i argued for 1209 00:46:51,349 --> 00:46:50,160 something more subtle oh thank you i 1210 00:46:53,670 --> 00:46:51,359 guess 1211 00:46:56,150 --> 00:46:53,680 this has all gone so wrong 1212 00:46:58,470 --> 00:46:56,160 your career is as good as over mine's 1213 00:47:00,790 --> 00:46:58,480 not if you're out of the way then maybe 1214 00:47:02,309 --> 00:47:00,800 i can get everything back on track and 1215 00:47:05,109 --> 00:47:02,319 save the earth right 1216 00:47:06,550 --> 00:47:05,119 well yes of course i don't want to die 1217 00:47:08,550 --> 00:47:06,560 get in line 1218 00:47:10,470 --> 00:47:08,560 i wish there was another way 1219 00:47:13,349 --> 00:47:10,480 excuse me miss 1220 00:47:15,910 --> 00:47:13,359 i think i know what's going on here mr 1221 00:47:17,589 --> 00:47:15,920 gallipoli what are you doing here you 1222 00:47:18,550 --> 00:47:17,599 said i was welcome at any time mick 1223 00:47:21,109 --> 00:47:18,560 irish 1224 00:47:23,030 --> 00:47:21,119 i've been talking to alan here and uh 1225 00:47:25,270 --> 00:47:23,040 he's got a lot of stories 1226 00:47:27,349 --> 00:47:25,280 i think he's bonkers probably may have 1227 00:47:28,790 --> 00:47:27,359 done some of that lsd asset i've been 1228 00:47:30,870 --> 00:47:28,800 hearing about but 1229 00:47:32,470 --> 00:47:30,880 he's an entertaining guy 1230 00:47:34,790 --> 00:47:32,480 why does the good-looking woman in the 1231 00:47:37,670 --> 00:47:34,800 jumpsuit need to shoot him 1232 00:47:38,630 --> 00:47:37,680 because he needs to go away hmm that's a 1233 00:47:40,309 --> 00:47:38,640 shame 1234 00:47:42,710 --> 00:47:40,319 i was going to use him for a series of 1235 00:47:44,470 --> 00:47:42,720 features on life in outer space 1236 00:47:46,309 --> 00:47:44,480 science fiction mick irish that's the 1237 00:47:49,750 --> 00:47:46,319 ticket is it 1238 00:47:51,670 --> 00:47:49,760 it is if i say it is you gun woman 1239 00:47:53,349 --> 00:47:51,680 sell ariana 1240 00:47:55,990 --> 00:47:53,359 sally yes 1241 00:47:57,430 --> 00:47:56,000 ellen is harmless he's a burnout 1242 00:47:59,990 --> 00:47:57,440 see him every day 1243 00:48:01,109 --> 00:48:00,000 poor character lack of self-control bad 1244 00:48:02,950 --> 00:48:01,119 upbringing 1245 00:48:05,190 --> 00:48:02,960 whatever the reason it's 1246 00:48:07,190 --> 00:48:05,200 clear he's no threat to you 1247 00:48:09,990 --> 00:48:07,200 let me make money off the insane 1248 00:48:12,790 --> 00:48:10,000 ramblings of this sad half-man think of 1249 00:48:16,309 --> 00:48:12,800 it like witness protection can he 1250 00:48:18,309 --> 00:48:16,319 actually write sad half-man 1251 00:48:20,870 --> 00:48:18,319 you'll polish it up mick irish don't 1252 00:48:23,030 --> 00:48:20,880 worry i uh okay 1253 00:48:25,190 --> 00:48:23,040 could this work sally 1254 00:48:28,230 --> 00:48:25,200 maybe so it would be preferable to 1255 00:48:30,069 --> 00:48:28,240 killing him to just pretend he was dead 1256 00:48:32,069 --> 00:48:30,079 then i could alter the ship's records 1257 00:48:34,390 --> 00:48:32,079 and erase all mention of earth and 1258 00:48:36,309 --> 00:48:34,400 that'll keep the earth safe 1259 00:48:37,670 --> 00:48:36,319 no it won't 1260 00:48:40,790 --> 00:48:37,680 what do you mean 1261 00:48:43,270 --> 00:48:40,800 i did the paperwork salvariana earth's 1262 00:48:45,990 --> 00:48:43,280 in the system if it isn't turned over to 1263 00:48:49,750 --> 00:48:46,000 aggilonian control in the next 24 hours 1264 00:48:52,549 --> 00:48:49,760 the invasion fleet launches well stop it 1265 00:48:54,870 --> 00:48:52,559 foolish human woman i'd never get the 1266 00:48:59,510 --> 00:48:54,880 forms filled out before the 24 hours was 1267 00:49:01,270 --> 00:48:59,520 up no this is absolutely happening so 1268 00:49:02,710 --> 00:49:01,280 earth is doomed 1269 00:49:14,470 --> 00:49:02,720 doomed 1270 00:49:16,549 --> 00:49:14,480 involve more explosions great thanks 1271 00:49:19,109 --> 00:49:16,559 i'm not worried i've got a bunker in 1272 00:49:21,510 --> 00:49:19,119 south dakota for just this kind of thing 1273 00:49:25,190 --> 00:49:21,520 alan you coming 1274 00:49:27,589 --> 00:49:25,200 might as well die in a bunker sure 1275 00:49:28,829 --> 00:49:27,599 i appreciate your fatalism alan 1276 00:49:32,069 --> 00:49:28,839 so long 1277 00:49:34,069 --> 00:49:32,079 hippies he is so weird 1278 00:49:35,430 --> 00:49:34,079 so what are we going to do about all 1279 00:49:37,990 --> 00:49:35,440 this 1280 00:49:40,069 --> 00:49:38,000 i'm not sure there's anything we can do 1281 00:49:41,990 --> 00:49:40,079 we have 24 hours to turn earth over to 1282 00:49:45,270 --> 00:49:42,000 the agolonian empire 1283 00:49:47,510 --> 00:49:45,280 or there's an invasion and we can't turn 1284 00:49:49,190 --> 00:49:47,520 earth over to the empire because owen 1285 00:49:51,829 --> 00:49:49,200 has all the social cultural and 1286 00:49:54,470 --> 00:49:51,839 political authority of well a motel 1287 00:49:56,309 --> 00:49:54,480 owner who runs a ufo cult so what 1288 00:50:00,230 --> 00:49:56,319 happens if earth were to become part of 1289 00:50:02,309 --> 00:50:00,240 the empire sally would would be would uh 1290 00:50:04,790 --> 00:50:02,319 would we be enslaved that the planet 1291 00:50:07,510 --> 00:50:04,800 gets strip mined or something 1292 00:50:09,349 --> 00:50:07,520 maybe at some point but earth earth is 1293 00:50:11,589 --> 00:50:09,359 barely worth the effort 1294 00:50:12,790 --> 00:50:11,599 in fact at this point it's not worth the 1295 00:50:15,109 --> 00:50:12,800 effort 1296 00:50:17,030 --> 00:50:15,119 i suspect that earth would be so far 1297 00:50:18,069 --> 00:50:17,040 down the list of absorbed planets to 1298 00:50:20,069 --> 00:50:18,079 process 1299 00:50:22,630 --> 00:50:20,079 that once i leave you wouldn't see 1300 00:50:25,670 --> 00:50:22,640 another agalonian for centuries we would 1301 00:50:27,670 --> 00:50:25,680 appoint someone usually our owen figure 1302 00:50:30,390 --> 00:50:27,680 as a liaison and come back when we 1303 00:50:32,470 --> 00:50:30,400 needed what earth has to offer 1304 00:50:33,430 --> 00:50:32,480 which is what 1305 00:50:40,470 --> 00:50:33,440 water 1306 00:50:42,790 --> 00:50:40,480 from planets like this but you don't 1307 00:50:45,109 --> 00:50:42,800 have as much as a lot of planets so 1308 00:50:47,510 --> 00:50:45,119 honestly by the time we needed to drain 1309 00:50:49,589 --> 00:50:47,520 earth's oceans the empire would probably 1310 00:50:51,990 --> 00:50:49,599 be on its last legs 1311 00:50:54,390 --> 00:50:52,000 so you'd add us to your empire just 1312 00:50:56,390 --> 00:50:54,400 because that's what you do 1313 00:50:58,069 --> 00:50:56,400 well it is an empire 1314 00:50:59,670 --> 00:50:58,079 too bad we can't just tell them earth 1315 00:51:01,109 --> 00:50:59,680 surrendered 1316 00:51:02,870 --> 00:51:01,119 what did you say 1317 00:51:03,990 --> 00:51:02,880 nothing darling just that 1318 00:51:05,750 --> 00:51:04,000 if they're not going to show up and 1319 00:51:08,309 --> 00:51:05,760 check it'd be great if we could just 1320 00:51:11,190 --> 00:51:08,319 send the message earth capitulates no 1321 00:51:13,910 --> 00:51:11,200 need to invade or something 1322 00:51:15,910 --> 00:51:13,920 that is not the worst idea any of us 1323 00:51:18,630 --> 00:51:15,920 have had today 1324 00:51:21,109 --> 00:51:18,640 look space empires aren't dumb they 1325 00:51:22,870 --> 00:51:21,119 aren't just going to say okay cross 1326 00:51:24,630 --> 00:51:22,880 earth off the list and carry on like 1327 00:51:27,430 --> 00:51:24,640 nothing's happening 1328 00:51:28,390 --> 00:51:27,440 actually that sounds just like what we 1329 00:51:30,870 --> 00:51:28,400 do 1330 00:51:32,870 --> 00:51:30,880 empires are bureaucracies rosalind and 1331 00:51:34,870 --> 00:51:32,880 our particular bureaucracy is the 1332 00:51:36,710 --> 00:51:34,880 happiest when everything happens as if 1333 00:51:39,510 --> 00:51:36,720 it's expected to happen 1334 00:51:41,349 --> 00:51:39,520 to be blunt the agalonian empire really 1335 00:51:44,470 --> 00:51:41,359 is incompetent and lazy enough for 1336 00:51:46,309 --> 00:51:44,480 owen's idea to work my idea 1337 00:51:47,430 --> 00:51:46,319 reporting earth as being part of the 1338 00:51:49,270 --> 00:51:47,440 empire 1339 00:51:51,190 --> 00:51:49,280 we can record it with my mission data 1340 00:51:53,910 --> 00:51:51,200 storage device and transmit it back to 1341 00:51:55,910 --> 00:51:53,920 headquarters there's sort of a ceremony 1342 00:51:58,390 --> 00:51:55,920 but probably no one will ever watch it 1343 00:52:01,190 --> 00:51:58,400 the computer algorithms will pick up on 1344 00:52:03,589 --> 00:52:01,200 key phrases and earth will be as roslyn 1345 00:52:05,990 --> 00:52:03,599 put it crossed off the list 1346 00:52:07,589 --> 00:52:06,000 i didn't understand most of that but if 1347 00:52:08,950 --> 00:52:07,599 you think it'll work 1348 00:52:11,349 --> 00:52:08,960 it's better than waiting for the 1349 00:52:13,510 --> 00:52:11,359 invasion fleet 1350 00:52:16,470 --> 00:52:13,520 in accordance with agilonian absorption 1351 00:52:19,270 --> 00:52:16,480 protocol phalon gorlax revision 5. i 1352 00:52:21,670 --> 00:52:19,280 hereby open this section 65 planetary 1353 00:52:24,150 --> 00:52:21,680 authority transfer ceremony who is here 1354 00:52:25,589 --> 00:52:24,160 to represent earth we are 1355 00:52:27,349 --> 00:52:25,599 state your names in position of 1356 00:52:29,589 --> 00:52:27,359 planetary authority 1357 00:52:32,630 --> 00:52:29,599 uh owen hazlitt um 1358 00:52:34,470 --> 00:52:32,640 agalonian planetary representative 1359 00:52:37,589 --> 00:52:34,480 roslyn i don't feel like telling you my 1360 00:52:39,990 --> 00:52:37,599 last name president of earth what play 1361 00:52:41,589 --> 00:52:40,000 along 1362 00:52:43,990 --> 00:52:41,599 president rosalind do you and your 1363 00:52:46,069 --> 00:52:44,000 position as president of earth agreed to 1364 00:52:48,870 --> 00:52:46,079 transfer the planetary authority to the 1365 00:52:51,510 --> 00:52:48,880 agolonian empire yes do you agree to the 1366 00:52:53,430 --> 00:52:51,520 agallonian empire's acquisition of any 1367 00:52:55,109 --> 00:52:53,440 material wealth or resource on the 1368 00:52:57,349 --> 00:52:55,119 planet yes 1369 00:52:59,270 --> 00:52:57,359 do you agree that all people of earth 1370 00:53:02,870 --> 00:52:59,280 will become subjects of the agolonian 1371 00:53:06,630 --> 00:53:02,880 empire yes except for the dutch 1372 00:53:08,630 --> 00:53:06,640 stop it now we have to do it again 1373 00:53:10,150 --> 00:53:08,640 do you agree that all the people of 1374 00:53:12,549 --> 00:53:10,160 earth will become subjects of the 1375 00:53:15,190 --> 00:53:12,559 agalonian empire yes 1376 00:53:17,430 --> 00:53:15,200 do you accept the position of agalonian 1377 00:53:19,510 --> 00:53:17,440 legate with the responsibility for 1378 00:53:22,549 --> 00:53:19,520 carrying out any agallonian policy 1379 00:53:25,430 --> 00:53:22,559 required on earth very much yes 1380 00:53:28,069 --> 00:53:25,440 yes will suffice yes 1381 00:53:29,910 --> 00:53:28,079 owen as the planetary representative do 1382 00:53:32,950 --> 00:53:29,920 you affirm that earth is ready for the 1383 00:53:34,630 --> 00:53:32,960 absorption into the empire yes i do 1384 00:53:36,870 --> 00:53:34,640 then by virtue of my authority as 1385 00:53:38,950 --> 00:53:36,880 agalonian commander i welcome earth into 1386 00:53:41,470 --> 00:53:38,960 the empire you will be contacted with 1387 00:53:44,630 --> 00:53:41,480 further instructions within the next 1388 00:53:46,950 --> 00:53:44,640 [Music] 1389 00:53:49,990 --> 00:53:46,960 7000 years 1390 00:53:52,069 --> 00:53:50,000 my first act as legate is to declare war 1391 00:53:52,870 --> 00:53:52,079 on the moon stop it 1392 00:53:53,910 --> 00:53:52,880 so 1393 00:53:55,510 --> 00:53:53,920 that's it 1394 00:53:56,950 --> 00:53:55,520 earth safe 1395 00:53:58,950 --> 00:53:56,960 it's all we can do 1396 00:54:01,349 --> 00:53:58,960 and it's time we were leaving 1397 00:54:03,750 --> 00:54:01,359 you're really going with her what about 1398 00:54:05,829 --> 00:54:03,760 the meditation center it's it's yours 1399 00:54:07,589 --> 00:54:05,839 rosalind keep the place going tell them 1400 00:54:08,950 --> 00:54:07,599 where i've gone and let everyone know 1401 00:54:11,190 --> 00:54:08,960 i'll be back 1402 00:54:13,670 --> 00:54:11,200 someday are you going to want some of 1403 00:54:15,910 --> 00:54:13,680 the money when you come back no the 1404 00:54:17,190 --> 00:54:15,920 agilonians don't believe in money of 1405 00:54:20,309 --> 00:54:17,200 course we do 1406 00:54:22,630 --> 00:54:20,319 that programming really was messed up 1407 00:54:24,790 --> 00:54:22,640 i'll keep the money if i ever see you 1408 00:54:26,870 --> 00:54:24,800 again i'll buy you dinner see you both 1409 00:54:28,069 --> 00:54:26,880 later maybe 1410 00:54:30,069 --> 00:54:28,079 goodbye 1411 00:54:31,430 --> 00:54:30,079 you became slightly less irritating over 1412 00:54:34,150 --> 00:54:31,440 time rosslyn 1413 00:54:36,790 --> 00:54:34,160 good luck with her owen bye roslyn 1414 00:54:44,970 --> 00:54:36,800 thanks for everything 1415 00:54:49,670 --> 00:54:46,789 [Music] 1416 00:54:51,990 --> 00:54:49,680 and so one of earth's many brushes with 1417 00:54:55,670 --> 00:54:52,000 alien life ended with a brief amount of 1418 00:54:57,589 --> 00:54:55,680 ceremony veiled insults and a cult being 1419 00:54:59,190 --> 00:54:57,599 under new ownership 1420 00:55:01,190 --> 00:54:59,200 we caught up with the principal figures 1421 00:55:03,430 --> 00:55:01,200 in these events several years later to 1422 00:55:05,270 --> 00:55:03,440 learn what happened next 1423 00:55:08,549 --> 00:55:05,280 well it was real change being on the 1424 00:55:10,309 --> 00:55:08,559 agolunian spaceship their philosophy 1425 00:55:11,349 --> 00:55:10,319 wasn't really like anything i'd been 1426 00:55:15,589 --> 00:55:11,359 taught 1427 00:55:17,430 --> 00:55:15,599 they implanted me with a fake philosophy 1428 00:55:19,349 --> 00:55:17,440 to help soften up the earth i was a 1429 00:55:20,870 --> 00:55:19,359 little angry about that at first but the 1430 00:55:22,710 --> 00:55:20,880 more i got to know sally and the other 1431 00:55:24,150 --> 00:55:22,720 agalonians the more i realized that they 1432 00:55:25,990 --> 00:55:24,160 were a lot like us 1433 00:55:27,670 --> 00:55:26,000 i don't know if that's good or bad but 1434 00:55:28,950 --> 00:55:27,680 it's just how it is 1435 00:55:30,870 --> 00:55:28,960 oh sally 1436 00:55:31,910 --> 00:55:30,880 oh i'm not sure she ever loved me like i 1437 00:55:33,670 --> 00:55:31,920 loved her 1438 00:55:34,950 --> 00:55:33,680 after a while i got lonely for earth and 1439 00:55:37,270 --> 00:55:34,960 came back 1440 00:55:39,750 --> 00:55:37,280 i stayed away from the meditation center 1441 00:55:41,670 --> 00:55:39,760 rosalind was doing weird things with it 1442 00:55:43,750 --> 00:55:41,680 and ended up here in chicago from time 1443 00:55:45,670 --> 00:55:43,760 to time sally comes back and i stay on 1444 00:55:48,069 --> 00:55:45,680 the ship for a while it's routine at 1445 00:55:50,230 --> 00:55:48,079 this point 1446 00:55:52,710 --> 00:55:50,240 people are idiots you know that 1447 00:55:55,750 --> 00:55:52,720 so i go with gallipoli to this bunker of 1448 00:55:57,270 --> 00:55:55,760 his he keeps me there for six 1449 00:55:59,270 --> 00:55:57,280 months 1450 00:56:01,190 --> 00:55:59,280 is that the one with the moon 1451 00:56:03,030 --> 00:56:01,200 uh it wasn't years but it was longer 1452 00:56:04,710 --> 00:56:03,040 than hours i don't know 1453 00:56:06,390 --> 00:56:04,720 anyway a long time 1454 00:56:08,309 --> 00:56:06,400 finally he's convinced that earth is 1455 00:56:10,230 --> 00:56:08,319 safe and he sets me up in a little house 1456 00:56:12,470 --> 00:56:10,240 and sends that rosalind woman around to 1457 00:56:14,710 --> 00:56:12,480 write down my memories of a career spent 1458 00:56:16,470 --> 00:56:14,720 in the agolonian fleet she turned them 1459 00:56:18,230 --> 00:56:16,480 into something bizarre and i think we 1460 00:56:21,030 --> 00:56:18,240 made a lot of money 1461 00:56:22,549 --> 00:56:21,040 is it how i pictured my retirement no 1462 00:56:23,990 --> 00:56:22,559 but it's not bad 1463 00:56:27,270 --> 00:56:24,000 probably better than things would have 1464 00:56:29,109 --> 00:56:27,280 gone if i'd executed owen 1465 00:56:30,630 --> 00:56:29,119 the first thing i did was change up the 1466 00:56:33,750 --> 00:56:30,640 meditation center 1467 00:56:35,990 --> 00:56:33,760 i revised owen's teachings to reflect a 1468 00:56:38,470 --> 00:56:36,000 sort of new testament 1469 00:56:41,030 --> 00:56:38,480 a new version based on his experiences 1470 00:56:42,710 --> 00:56:41,040 after the agolonians show up ditched a 1471 00:56:44,630 --> 00:56:42,720 lot of the philosophical stuff and 1472 00:56:46,950 --> 00:56:44,640 replaced it with a new emphasis on 1473 00:56:48,549 --> 00:56:46,960 manual labor we're growing fruit and 1474 00:56:51,270 --> 00:56:48,559 making preserves to sell in the gift 1475 00:56:52,950 --> 00:56:51,280 shop along with books and pamphlets 1476 00:56:55,030 --> 00:56:52,960 there are some kids here now and they 1477 00:56:57,349 --> 00:56:55,040 make little trinkets to sell people like 1478 00:57:01,030 --> 00:56:57,359 to throw around the term sweatshop but 1479 00:57:03,910 --> 00:57:01,040 it's fine really oh elon and his stories 1480 00:57:06,470 --> 00:57:03,920 that was weird he was weird and made 1481 00:57:09,349 --> 00:57:06,480 money but wow did i have to do a lot to 1482 00:57:11,270 --> 00:57:09,359 make his so-called stories entertaining 1483 00:57:13,349 --> 00:57:11,280 i never knew that space adventuring was 1484 00:57:15,750 --> 00:57:13,359 90 percent paperwork 1485 00:57:17,990 --> 00:57:15,760 i'll tell you what i think happened i 1486 00:57:19,190 --> 00:57:18,000 think the agolonians destroyed the earth 1487 00:57:21,030 --> 00:57:19,200 that day 1488 00:57:24,789 --> 00:57:21,040 we all died and were brought back as 1489 00:57:26,789 --> 00:57:24,799 pure soul energy on a recreated earth 1490 00:57:29,349 --> 00:57:26,799 i've talked to alan about it 1491 00:57:31,270 --> 00:57:29,359 he may not be as crazy as he seems 1492 00:57:33,190 --> 00:57:31,280 mcgirish did a good job turning those 1493 00:57:34,710 --> 00:57:33,200 stories of his into books 1494 00:57:37,510 --> 00:57:34,720 made some good money 1495 00:57:40,710 --> 00:57:37,520 of course it's all an illusion in fact 1496 00:57:42,789 --> 00:57:40,720 some days i think i've gone quite mad 1497 00:57:44,950 --> 00:57:42,799 my career went very well after the earth 1498 00:57:47,349 --> 00:57:44,960 incident eventually moved up to a desk 1499 00:57:50,230 --> 00:57:47,359 job reviewing paperwork to ensure that 1500 00:57:53,030 --> 00:57:50,240 no one got away with doing what we did 1501 00:57:55,030 --> 00:57:53,040 i still see owen from time to time 1502 00:57:58,290 --> 00:57:55,040 such a strange man 1503 00:58:10,800 --> 00:57:58,300 even for a human 1504 00:58:19,750 --> 00:58:17,589 [Music] 1505 00:58:21,910 --> 00:58:19,760 in the children of agalan roslin was 1506 00:58:24,069 --> 00:58:21,920 played by samantha engel the narrator 1507 00:58:26,470 --> 00:58:24,079 elon and mr gallipoli by simpson j 1508 00:58:29,990 --> 00:58:26,480 hanover the third owen haslett by aaron 1509 00:58:31,349 --> 00:58:30,000 gullius savariana by the saucer wife 1510 00:58:33,750 --> 00:58:31,359 production coordination was by the 1511 00:58:35,670 --> 00:58:33,760 saucer wife simpson jay hanover iii was 1512 00:58:37,750 --> 00:58:35,680 the associate producer samantha engel 1513 00:58:40,230 --> 00:58:37,760 was the story editor the director and 1514 00:58:43,190 --> 00:58:40,240 producer was aaron gullius chiso media's 1515 00:58:44,950 --> 00:58:43,200 director of drama is hiram ratzkilet 1516 00:58:46,870 --> 00:58:44,960 the children of agalon was a production 1517 00:58:48,230 --> 00:58:46,880 of the chiso media drama division for 1518 00:58:55,270 --> 00:58:48,240 the saucer life 1519 00:59:00,549 --> 00:58:57,510 so that was it hope you enjoyed it 1520 00:59:02,230 --> 00:59:00,559 we are on a bit of a hiatus for the next 1521 00:59:04,549 --> 00:59:02,240 couple weeks through the new year but 1522 00:59:06,549 --> 00:59:04,559 we'll be dropping little bits of 1523 00:59:08,789 --> 00:59:06,559 interesting stuff here and there watch 1524 00:59:10,549 --> 00:59:08,799 our social media um 1525 00:59:14,309 --> 00:59:10,559 avenues on twitter 1526 00:59:15,190 --> 00:59:14,319 facebook and instagram as saucerlife 1527 00:59:16,230 --> 00:59:15,200 and 1528 00:59:18,230 --> 00:59:16,240 um 1529 00:59:20,309 --> 00:59:18,240 actually yeah and the feed as well the 1530 00:59:22,470 --> 00:59:20,319 podcast feed there's going to be some 1531 00:59:24,549 --> 00:59:22,480 interviews and some conversation with me 1532 00:59:27,030 --> 00:59:24,559 and the rest of the cast about uh what 1533 00:59:29,349 --> 00:59:27,040 you've just heard and that will be 1534 00:59:31,670 --> 00:59:29,359 dropping at some point in the next in 1535 00:59:33,990 --> 00:59:31,680 the next couple weeks um 1536 00:59:35,349 --> 00:59:34,000 just watch the skies 1537 00:59:36,710 --> 00:59:35,359 on the internet because the skies are 1538 00:59:39,910 --> 00:59:36,720 watching you 1539 00:59:41,829 --> 00:59:39,920 happy holidays happy new year thanks for 1540 00:59:44,630 --> 00:59:41,839 being a part of 1541 00:59:47,349 --> 00:59:44,640 our saucer life journey this 1542 00:59:50,630 --> 00:59:47,359 year this year of 2021 we've got some 1543 00:59:52,789 --> 00:59:50,640 interesting things coming up in 2022 1544 00:59:54,710 --> 00:59:52,799 that i hope you'll continue to want to 1545 00:59:57,589 --> 00:59:54,720 be a part of thank you so much for your 1546 00:59:58,710 --> 00:59:57,599 support over the last four and a half 1547 01:00:00,789 --> 00:59:58,720 years 1548 01:00:01,990 --> 01:00:00,799 it's been wonderful i'll talk to you 1549 01:00:03,720 --> 01:00:02,000 later